Operation Host!
by xxfirebubblesxx
Summary: -Fruits Basket xover- Objective: Befriend one blonde idiot. Warnings: Beware of observant crossdressers, hug-happy fangirls, unwelcome cursed relatives, smokebombs, alcoholic tea, and exploding cookie batter. Mission: Impossible.
1. The News

Disclaimer- I don't own Fruits Basket or Ouran High School Host Club. XP

**Chapter 1: The News **

"Eh? You're transferring Yuki?" questioned Shigure.

"Yes. Just for a while, I suppose. I have needs for him there." They both knew what Akito was saying. Shigure remained kneeling on the floor in front of the sickly young head.

"Will it just be him?"

"Yes. The rest are unsuited for this situation."

Shigure understood. Kyo was the same age, but he was too brash. Momiji rarely could be serious, and Haru had his black side to deal with. Tohru wasn't even one of the Sohmas. Only Yuki could be used in this delicate situation. He rose, bade the still figure goodbye, and left the Sohma house by himself. Shigure whined, "I hate to be the one to break the news to them. Yuki's gonna skin me alive!" Suddenly, he turned serious again.

"Poor Yuki. For his sake I hope he doesn't fail his mission." With that ominous thought in mind, Shigure headed home, followed by the brisk autumn wind blowing up a storm of dead leaves.

* * *

"WHAT?!" 

_CRASH!_ The porcelain plate Tohru was carrying back to the kitchen slipped from her weakened grasp. Instead of immediately apologizing and cleaning it up, she slowly sank on the ground. Kyo went over to help her. Yuki was still gaping at the smiling dog, hoping this was another one of his stupid jokes.

Shigure nodded. "Yup! Akito told Yuki to transfer to another high school. He will be starting next week."

"Why does he want me?"

Shigure answered, "For family business."

Yuki started to ask why him, but then went through the same thinking process Shigure did.

"Oh."

Shigure shrugged. "It doesn't seem to be a permanent move." Tohru had regained her composure and was helping Kyo pick up the shards.

"How long will Yuki-kun be gone?"

"Just until he gets Akito's business done," comforted Shigure.

Kyo started to get irritated. "What is this family business anyway?"

The dog hesitated. "He has to..." Tohru imagined terrible tasks, such as feeding piranhas or cleaning a kitchen that was as dirty as Shigure's before she came!

"...make a friend." All three of them blinked at him.

"That's it?" Kyo asked in annoyance.

"Yup!" giggled Shigure. Tohru sighed in relief. "So Yuki-kun won't be fighting bears like Kyo-kun did in the mountains?" she blurted out, then turned red. "Oops." The three guys stared at her strangely.

"What school is the damn rat going to?"questioned Kyo.

Shigure thought for a moment. "Started with O or A, I forgot. Umm...Aha! I remember! It's called Ouran."

Tohru squeaked, "Ouran High? That's one of the most prestigious schools!" Even Kyo looked a little impressed by that.

Yuki was still lost in the dark. "I don't understand. Why do I have to go there and make a friend?"

Shigure sighed. "Really, Yuki. And I thought Kyon-kyon was the dumb one."

Kyo glared daggers at him. "Hey! I resent that."

Tohru hurriedly swept the last of the broken plate up and threw it away, not wanting to miss a word of the conversation.

The oldest man sighed, "Truth is, Sohma Industries wants Suoh Industries as its business partner. Akito wants you to get closer to the CEO's son, Tamaki Suoh."

Tohru gasped again. "Tamaki Suoh? Only son of the Suoh's?"

Shigure asked her how she knew that. While Tohru explained she saw him on television, Yuki was rethinking what he had to do.

"Eh? Tamaki Suoh, huh? So that's why," mused a thoughtful Yuki.

Suddenly, Shigure reverted back to his carefree self. "Don't worry! Just toddle off to bed now! Good night!"

Startled, the three teenagers said a quiet goodbye and trudged up to their rooms, each with their own inner thoughts.

* * *

"Have you heard the news? Prince Yuki is leaving!" 

That was the juiciest piece of gossip in the school that day. It was unknown who started the rumor, but it spread among the students like wildfire. It wasn't long before the Prince Yuki Fanclub caught wind of it. "WHAT? It can't be!" screamed Mokoto, the president of the club, dramatically.

"If our beloved prince leaves, this fanclub will be meaningless! Pass this message on: ALL FANCLUB MEMBERS MUST PERSUADE OUR PRINCE NOT TO LEAVE! Understood?"

Her cronies nodded. "Understood!"

Thus, all day long, Yuki was pestered by more than half the school's girls, begging him not to leave. Needless to say, he was more than irritated. Thankfully, today was Friday, and no more crazy fangirls! Unless, they followed him home. _Urg. _

"Yuki-kun!" a smiling Tohru waved at him, oblivious to the hostile glares from the other girls. Tohru's voice was abruptly drowned out the loudspeaker. "Ahem. Is this thing on? Oh. PRINCE YUKI!" -feedback- "PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE OUR BELOVED SCHOOL!" Yuki grimaced. He knew that voice anywhere. It was no other than Mokoto Minagawa. He speedwalked to Tohru, grabbed her hand, and both of them ran off that campus straight home to where Kyo, Haru, and Momiji already were. At home, Shigure and Kyo laughed at Yuki's school day, while the others were a little bit more sympathetic.

* * *

During the weekend, Yuki was no less busy! There were papers to sign, official documents to file away, and other tiresome paperwork. His textbooks were bought, and the specially tailored Ouran uniform arrived. All in all, Yuki was ready to follow Akito's inane plan, if he could get up on time. 

On Monday, when his alarm clock went off, his hand appeared from under the covers and fumbled with it. When he couldn't make it turn off, the sleepy rat threw it against the wall, then got up. Even though his eyes were still closed, he dressed himself perfectly, only waking up to put on the blue tie. Blinking blearily, he stumbled downstairs, readjusting his tie again, and meandered into the kitchen.

Tohru smiled approvingly at him, "Yuki, you look very nice!" Indeed, the light blue jacket and the black pants emphasized his slim frame and silver hair, slightly mussed. However, the tie was done haphazardly, as if the person was half-asleep at the time. Knowing Yuki, he probably was. She giggled and redid his tie for him. Blinking, he gave her a small "thank you."

She grinned and replied, "You're welcome. Breakfast is ready."

After another one of Tohru's delicious homemade meals, Hatori arrived to drive Yuki to Ouran. It was around a 15-minute drive, so by the time he pulled into the school, it was almost time for school to start. Yuki grabbed his bookbag, said a quick good-bye to Hatori, and raced through the gigantic portal, up two flights of stairs, and came to his classroom. He referred to the piece of paper clutched in his sweaty palm to be absolutely certain it was the right room. _1-A. This is it._ Breathing deeply, he opened the door and stepped in just as the bell rang.

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

Thus began Yuki's first day at Ouran High School.

* * *

A/N: So how was it? This is my first attempt at writing a crossover. Fruits Basket and Ouran High School rock! In this story, chapters will be longer than what I usually post, so look forward to them!

Review will be gratefully accepted. :-)

Mimi-chan

xxfirebubblesxx


	2. The Newcomer

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

**Chapter 2: The Newcomer**

All heads turned as the silver-haired teen stepped into the room as the bell rang.

"Eh? Hikaru, who's that?"

"Isn't that the new guy, Kaoru?"

At the back of the room, the Hitachiin twins were observing Yuki with a lot of interest. Their homeroom teacher smiled at the perfectly composed newcomer.

"You're just in time. Please introduce yourself."

He strode to the front of the room and gave a respectful bow without appearing silly. When he stood upright again, everybody noticed how..._feminine_ his face seemed. His gray eyes were large and his hair was a little on the longish side; his smile could only be described as princely. But even though he was slender, he had a strange kind of strength surrounding him. Was it his posture, or was he naturally like that? All in all, this new guy had a very mysterious air.

"I am Yuki Sohma. Please take care of me." His voice was soft like silk or velvet, and they had to strain to hear him. Haruhi suspected it wasn't because he was shy, but it was naturally like that. By that time, all the girls (except Haruhi) fell a little bit in love with him.

"Alright, Sohma-kun, please sit besides Hitachiin-kun, over there."

A teen with hair that reminded Yuki of Kyo's, waved his hand and grinned devilishly. Yuki went over and sat down at the empty desk on the right side. Glancing to his left, he saw Hitachiin-kun, a boy with brown hair and eyes, and...another Hitachiin-kun? _Twins, huh? _The second Hitachiin-kun looked exactly like the first one, but his hair was swept to the opposite side. Yuki decided he would make friends later and pulled out his school supplies. Even though he wasn't staying here permanently, it was best to stay on top of things.

* * *

When it was time for club activities, the Host Club reported to the Third Music Room for hosting. After club time ended, the Hosts talked about the new person. Yuki Sohma had been here for exactly one day, yet he was already well known. Many people adored him for his elegant attitude, quiet personality, and graceful looks. Tamaki was very interested in him. 

"So, girls are already falling for him?" remarked Tamaki quizzically.

"Hai! There was even talk about starting his own fanclub,"Hani piped up. "Right, Takashi?"

Mori replied with a small "un."

Tamaki was astonished. "Really? Sugoi! He must really be something. Hikaru, Kaoru! Aren"t you in the same class as him?"

The twins shrugged and spoke at the same time. "Yeah. He's pretty, in a girlish way. Maybe he's a girl in disguise, just like Haruhi!"

Haruhi remembered something else about Yuki. "Sohma-kun seems very mysterious."

Tamaki nodded. "Let us trust Haruhi's judgement."

Kyoya added, "He used to go to a commoner's public school before he came here. The reasons for why he transferred are unknown."

Tamaki absorbed all this with interest. "Anything illnesses?"

Kyoya referred to his clipboard. "He used to have severe asthma and bronchitis when he was younger. It seems to have subsided now, but sometime he does have attacks."

Tamaki wiped a tear from his eyes, then cried dramatically "So sad! Pining for a regular life, yet restricted by a terrible sickness! Oh, the agony of it all!"

The twins pretended to cry along. "What a melancholy tale of woe!"

Kyoya continued with his report, ignoring their weeping. "He used to have his own fanclub at his old school, consisting of more than half the girls."

"Ooh! So he is popular, huh? What does the Sohmas do?" questioned Tamaki eagerly, all traces of tears vanished.

Kyoya flipped a few pages, then found what he was looking for. "Sohma Industries specialize in many different businesses. Recently, they started progressing in the entertainment section."

Tamaki abruptly stood up and declared dramatically "All right then! It's settled!"

Everyone looked curiously at him.

"Tama-kun, what's settled?" Hani asked, cutely tilting his head to one side.

"We shall see for ourselves how great this Yuki Sohma is!" Tamaki snapped his fingers. "Hani! Go get one of our Host Club invitations! Mori! Get a writing utensil. Kyoya, plan out what to write! Haruhi, you write it, since Father knows you're handwriting is the neatest!" As all of the hosts were running around and gathering materials, the twins were waiting impatiently for their tasks.

"Hey, my lord? What should we do?" asked the twins in perfect synchronization.

"Um...help Kyoya write." Tamaki watched as they bounded over to see what Kyoya had written. He grinned and made himself comfortable on a sofa. The Host Club will see what this Yuki Sohma was like.

* * *

Yuki sighed dejectedly. He hadn't heard anyone mention Tamaki Suoh the entire day. During club time he had wandered around and eavesdropped on parts of people's conversations. It wasn't difficult since his hearing was sharper than the average human was. It came naturally with being a Jyuunishi member. It was almost time to go home. Yuki picked up his bookbag and headed towards the front entrance, when he passed a group of giggling girls. 

"Tamaki-sempai looked so handsome today!"

Yuki halted in his steps. _Tamaki-sempai? Could it be? _He went over and addressed the girl who said that.

"Excuse me, when you said Tamaki-sempai, did you mean Tamaki Suoh?"

The startled girls looked at him, then when they saw his face, they blushed madly.

"Um...yes!" giggled the brunette who made the comment.

"Do you know where I could find him?" asked Yuki.

"Uh...he's in the Host Club."

Yuki paled when he heard the words "Host Club." _Isn't a host club used to seduce ladies? Just what kind of person is he anyway? _

"Um, are you all right?"

Yuki gave her his special "princely smile" and thanked her. As he briskly walked out the door, he felt a small flicker of hope. He had a lead now. All he had to do was follow it.

* * *

Japanese Vocabulary: 

Sugoi- amazing

Jyuunishi- Chinese zodiac

* * *

Hello peeps! 

Thanks for reading! Now REVIEW.

Sorry if the characters were OOC. This is my first time writing OHSHC fanfiction.

One of my reviewers mentioned Yuki should be in 2-A instead of 1-A. I already knew that, but thank you for pointing that out! When I wrote this story, I thought it might be too easy if they were in the same class together. So I made Yuki younger! lol.

I won't be updating a lot for the next few weeks; Mimi-chan is going on vacation to visit my relatives! If I can find a computer with internet access over there, I'll try to update!

Ja ne!

Mimi-chan

xxfirebubblesxx


	3. The Meeting

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

**Chapter 3: The Meeting**

"Finished, my lord," the twins exclaimed happily. Tamaki snatched the card and examined it delightedly. "Well done! Now give it to him tomorrow. Club meeting dismissed"

* * *

Tohru smiled as Yuki came home. "Welcome back Yuki-kun! How was your first day?" 

Yuki considered her question. "It was...interesting."

"Did you find Suoh-san?" When Yuki didn't answer immediately, she started to freak out. "Gomen nasai! I didn't mean to pry!"

Yuki shook his head. "Iie. You're not prying. I did hear about him, but I didn't get to meet him in person."

"Don't worry! It's only your first day!" encouraged Tohru. "You'll definitely make friends with him. Yuki-kun's that kind of person."

"Arigato, Honda-san." Yuki smiled at the optimistic girl, then went upstairs to do homework.

* * *

The next day, Yuki was sitting at his desk, waiting for the first school bell to ring. Everybody was talking to his or her friends, but since Yuki didn't know anyone, he read a book instead. Suddenly, he felt a presence in front of him. Looking up, he saw three of his classmates standing in front of him: the twins, Hikaru and Kaoru, and the brown-haired boy known as Fujioka-kun. The twins were standing protectively behind the shorter boy. 

"Yes?" Yuki inquired.

"The Host Club would like to invite you for an interview-ow." Here he was nudged sharply in the ribs on both sides. "Um, I meant...tea party! Here's your invitation." He gave a confused Yuki a light pink envelope with pink roses etched on it.

"We hope you can come," said Fujioka-kun, giving him a small smile. Yuki looked at his face- really looked- and his sixth sense revealed to him this Fujioka-kun's secret. He blinked in surprise and automatically took the envelope. Immediately, the twin glomped onto Haruhi ruthlessly, with exclamations of "How cute!" and protesting she wasn't supposed to look that adorable. Haruhi was saved from having to struggle when the bell rang. Everyone settled down and the school day began.

* * *

At break, Yuki opened the envelope delicately and read the contents. 

The Host Club invites

Yuki Sohma

For a tea-party full of fun-fun!

And cakes and tea!

Be prepared to answer our every question!

Come to the Third Music Room at club time

Remember, WE WILL HAVE LOTS OF FUN-FUN, SO DO COME!

With lots of Love-Love,

The Host Club

Yuki sweatdropped when he finished reading the so-called "invitation." _What am I getting myself into? _(Remember, this was written by Kyoya and the twins) Nevertheless, if that's where Tamaki Suoh was, that's where Yuki Sohma should be too.

* * *

During club time, Yuki climbed up the stairs and reached the large golden door. Turning the door handle, he opened it. Suddenly, a storm of rose petals flew out. 

"Welcome." Seven different voices greeted him. Yuki knew Haruhi, Kaoru, and Hikaru, but the rest of the members were strangers. There was one thing similar about all of them. They were all very good looking. There was a blonde guy with violet-blue eyes, a Momiji-lookalike, a tall giant with spiky hair, and a dark-looking guy with glasses. Yuki wondered which one was Tamaki. The twins bounded over to him, linked arms, and dragged him over.

"We're glad you could make it, Sohma-kun," smiled Haruhi. "This is Kyoya-sempai, Mori-sempai, Hani-sempai, and Tamaki-sempai."

"Ah! So you're the famous Yuki Sohma! I am the club president, Tamaki, but you may address me as King!" Yuki's gray eyes widened. _This was Tamaki Suoh? _The longer he looked at him, the more he reminded him of somebody. _But who? _It suddenly hit Yuki like a ten-ton boulder. This babbling idiot was Ayame and Shigure in one hyperactive, annoying blonde package! The irony of this was just sickening. He came to Ouran partially to get away from these two, yet met somebody that was exactly like them. He was shook out of his reverie when Kyoya asked him a question.

"Who else do you live with?"

"I live with Shigure Sohma, Kyo Sohma, and Tohru Honda. Why?" Yuki watched as Kyoya wrote on his clipboard.

Kyoya ignored him and asked "Are they all related to you?"

"Shigure and Kyo are my cousins, but Tohru isn't."

Suddenly, the questions came flying hard and fast. Everybody seemed to have something to ask him. _What was your old high school? Why did you go to a commoner's school? Do you like cake? _Yuki struggled to keep his composure and answer all the questions. The entire time, she noticed Kyoya scribbling everything down. Finally, the questions slowed down, then ceased completely. Yuki took advantage of this momentary cease-fire by asking if he could ask them a question himself. Tamaki generously agreed.

"Why is Fujioka-kun dressed like a boy when she really is a girl?"

There was a moment of stunned silence. Then Tamaki gave Yuki a force grin and choked out "What are you talking about? Haruhi's a guy!"

Yuki persisted "No. She's a girl." The Host Club was astounded. How did he figure it out?

Yuki continued, "It wasn't really difficult to see. There were subtle hints, like her thin wrists, posture, voice, and her eyes." They were silent for a minute, then Tamaki dropped dramatically onto the couch.

"I suppose there isn't much use hiding it anymore."

"My lord, what shall we do?" Hikaru and Kaoru asked him anxiously. Tamaki closed his eyes in deep thought for a moment, then opened them quickly.

"There is only one thing left to do. Make him a host!"

* * *

Japanese Vocabulary: 

Gomen nasai- sorry

Iie- no

Arigato- thank you

* * *

A/N: Sorry for not updating for a while. I didn't have internet access for a while. Please R&R!

Ja ne!

Mimi-chan

xxfirebubblesxx


	4. The Joining

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

**Chapter 4: The Joining**

"Excuse me," Yuki suddenly objected. "But I'm not sure I want to be a Host without seeing what is it exactly you do."

Haruhi nodded. "That's a very wise choice. First see what the Host Club's about." _So you can run away screaming later,_ she muttered in an undertone. Yuki blinked in surprised and refrained from laughing out loud while Tamaki and the twins protested that she was being mean to them. Yuki intervened by asking what is it they specifically do to the girls. Tamaki popped out of his state of gloom immediately and exclaimed, "We simply treat the ladies like the princesses they are!"

Kyoya added, "For a price."

Hani piped up, "They pick the person they like the most. Tama-chan has 70 percent of the customers!"

"We also do cosplaying!" Kaoru and Hikaru said in perfect synchronization.

"What would Yuki-kun look good in?"

"Maybe the tropical costumes, Hikaru?"

"No, Kaoru. He's too fragile-looking for that. How about something white?"

"And a high collar."

The rest of the Host Club members and Yuki sweatdropped when they heard the twins avidly making plans for Yuki's costume.

"Hika-chan, Kao-chan! Yu-chan hasn't even decided if he wants to join," Hani reminded them.

"Mori agreed with a small "un." Yuki wondered,_ when did I become Yu-chan?_

The twins grinned mischievously. "But it's so fun..." started Kaoru.

"...dressing up our newest toy!" ended Hikaru. Both of them glided over to the silent Yuki and casually leaned an elbow on his shoulders; Hikaru on his right and Kaoru on his left.

Kyoya remarked, "Don't scare him away now." Suddenly, Yuki ducked out and under the twins' arms. They teetered for a moment, then fell and crashed into each other, landing in a pile of red hair and tangled limbs. The Host Club looked curiously at Yuki. His long bangs were shielding his cool gray eyes, but when he looked up, all traces of friendliness was gone. It was replaced by coldness, anger, and the barest hint of fear.

"**Don't **call me your toy."

His voice was steely and held a slightly threatening note behind it. (Afterwards, Tamaki swore the temperature dropped 20 degrees at that time and he pitied any fool stupid enough to get Yuki mad at him.) Letting his icy glare settle a moment longer in the twins' direction, he could feel them withering. Then he grabbed his bookbag and stalked out of the Third Music Room. Silence fell like a heavy blanket, smothering all sounds for a minute. Ironically, it was the quietest person who ended the silence.

"Never call him your toy again," stated Mori simply. Kaoru and Hikaru had stayed on the floor during Yuki's little outburst, but then they carefully disentangled themselves from one another and shoved their hands down their pockets.

"We didn't mean anything bad. Sheesh," they complained, but everyone knew they were upset. Haruhi wondered, w_hat made the cool prince get so sensitive about being called somebody's toy?_

* * *

Yuki ran through the hallways, flew down three flights of stars, and barreled out of the front doors of Ouran where Hatori was waiting to pick him up. He sprinted to the loitering car and climbed in. Hatori arched his eyebrow quizzically at the panting teen. 

"Are you all right?"

"Just drive."

The dragon didn't press him for information, and for that, Yuki was grateful. He buckled up his seatbelt, leaned back, and closed his eyes when the black car lurched forward. As Hatori drove in silence, Yuki was trying to repress the dark memories that appeared. _Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. _But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop them. They were like fragile bubbles, popping randomly, chocking him with his past...

* * *

_He was alone, in a dark place..._

_Hurt..._

_Anger..._

_Fear..._

_All of them old acquaintances from his childhood, reappearing in a huge tidal wave of blood, wiping out all his attempts to stay afloat..._

_Suddenly, the crimson liquid surrounding him vanished, leaving him completely dry but forcing him to release racking coughs. His asthma was acting up. Yuki dropped to his knees, eyes watering like crazy, throat itching and he couldn't breathe, breathe, breathe..._

_After for what seemed like an eternity in darkness, his coughing subsided, but he still felt woozy. Slowly, he staggered onto his feet and breathed in the black air. It smelled strange, like...blood?_

_Right after he thought that disturbing thought, the backround gradually changed from inky black to a smoky gray, finally settling on a bloody shade of scarlet. A swarm of black bats flew around his head, shrieking in an unearthly tone. Then they all started screaming at him in Akito's voice._

_"Nobody loves you..."_

_"Everyone would be happier if you died..."_

_"Your mother sold you to me..."_

_"You're my **toy** now."_

_TOY. _

_TOY. _

_TOY._

* * *

"Yuki? Wake up." 

He sat up, blinking furiously. He had fallen asleep in Hatori's car! The doctor was leaning over him, concern etched on his face.

"I'm fine." That came out a bit more brusquely than he felt. Grabbing his bookbag, Yuki climbed out of the back seat and thanked Hatori for the ride. After he drove away, the teen went inside. Tohru greeted him happily, and then noticed he didn't look so good.

"Yuki-kun, daijobu? You look very pale."

Yuki didn't notice how upset he felt until now.

"I'm all right." He climbed up the stairs unsteadily, feeling her worried gaze on his back. In the privacy of his own room, he changed from his Ouran uniform into his usual Chinese-styled shirt and a pair of blue pants. He ambled into the restroom and noted how ill he looked, and then splashed some cold water onto his face. Yuki stared intensely at his troubled reflection in the mirror, then muttered, "I am not a toy," over and over again. It was his own private manta to calm himself. He would not-could not fail his mission. Akito would **not** be happy. He would go to the Host Club tomorrow.

It had to be done.

* * *

The next day, the Host Club was preparing for the customers. 

"Hey, Haru-chan, do you think Yu-chan will come today?" Hani asked sadly. Haruhi considered saying something to make her sempai feel more optimistic, but that was against her nature.

"I don't know. Probably not. He seemed pretty upset yesterday," answered Haruhi truthfully. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the twins wince a bit when a red arrow of guilt pierced them. Tamaki sighed miserably. "And here I thought we could snag another handsome host to help us!" The twins staggered when a green arrow smacked them, then many more colorful ones appeared as the others said how disappointed they were. Finally they collapsed, colorful arrows sticking out of them. Suddenly there were three soft knocks at the door. Kyoya opened it while saying, "We're sorry, but-eh? Sohma-kun?"

"Yu-chan! You're here!" Hani shrieked as he launched himself off Mori's shoulders and onto Yuki. Miraculously, he managed to stay upright as Hani squeezed him ruthlessly. The rest of the Host Club also expressed their happiness, just not by trying to squeeze him to death. Tamaki was the most dramatic of all, loudly exclaiming how overjoyed he was by having Yuki come back to him. The twins sidled up to Yuki.

"We're sorry we called you our toy," they muttered sheepishly. Yuki gave them a small smile and accepted their apology. Pretty soon they joined Hani, sobbing that he was too forgiving. Yuki and Haruhi sweatdropped as Tamaki joined the cuddling Yuki group, while Mori made sure his cousin didn't get squashed. Haruhi observed Kyoya scribbling calculations in his black notebook, probably trying to figure out how much profit this new guy could bring in. Yuki was genuinely surprised by all this affection so he stood still and forgot to escape. When he realized Hani, Tamaki, Kaoru, and Hikaru were crushing him, he valiantly tried to wriggle out of their grasp, but to no avail. They just clung on tighter.

Unexpectedly, it was Kyoya who saved him by mentioning all their customers were waiting outside, and if they killed Yuki, him coming back would have been for nothing. So they left Yuki to catch his breath, and welcomed their 'princesses' inside. During club time, Yuki sat and quietly observed the Host Club at work.

Haruhi charmed her customers with her natural personality.

The twins used their 'beautiful brotherly love' act that strongly reminded Yuki of the dog and snake, but they weren't _this _extreme.

Hani acted like Momiji; Yuki swore he could be the rabbit's older brother. Mori was the opposite: strong and silent was his selling point.

Tamaki outrageously praised the girls, but Yuki could see he actually meant it.

Kyoya managed to make his customers swoon while selling Host Club merchandise. A truely amazing feat.

Yuki gratefully noted that the Host Club wasn't terribly disturbing, besides the fact the twins' act got a little steamy at times and the almost-kisses Tamaki seemed to frequently share with the blushing Ouran ladies. Also, one of the hosts was a girl. Other than that, he thought the Host Club might be an excellent way to get to know Tamaki Suoh better. The only thing he was worried about was how close the hosts had to be with the girls. If one of them hugged him, it would all be over. Yuki seriously considered his options: join and risk having his secret found out, or leave and not become friends with Tamaki. Either way, Akito's wrath was inevitable.

At the end of the club, the members asked Yuki if he wanted to join. Yuki took a deep breath, and said, "Hai." The cuddling Yuki group was immediately reformed and attacked. Mori gave a pleased grin towards the gray-haired teen while Kyoya started thinking about how much money they could make off of Yuki. Again. Haruhi was glad Yuki was joining. _We need some more sane people in this club, _she thought dryly, looking at the 'king' and his 'twin devils.'

Tamaki called, "Okaasan, help us smother our newest son with love!"

Hani grabbed Mori and pulled him into the big hug pile while Kyoya sighed, adjusted his glasses, reluctantly inched closer, and was sucked in. That left Haruhi staring at the clock wistfully, wondering if she could get to the supermarket in time. The twins detached themselves from the tangle of limbs and pushed Haruhi into the hug! Thankfully, Mori stood unwavering between Yuki and her so his secret was safe...for now. He wondered how long it would take for him to transform in front of the Host Club.

He'd give it a week, tops.

* * *

Japanese Vocabulary: 

Daijobu- are you all right

Hai- yes

Okaasan- mother

* * *

A/N: Whee! Chapter 4 is up! Mimi-chan just came back from Japan, so that's why I didn't update for a while. Now I am back, so look foward to more updates.

This chapter turned out more angesty than I originally planned...Oh well!

Will the Host Club find out about the Sohma's secret? When will they get to meet the unique and great-looking Sohmas? What will be the next Host Club cosplay? Only Mimi-chan knows! MUAHAHAHA! Oh, wait. I don't know the last one... :P

If anyone has any ideas, please let me know!

Please R&R or I won't update! (Gasp! Mimi-chan is threatening people! What is this world coming to?!)

jk. Or am I? 5 reviews. That's all I'm asking for.

Ja ne!

Mimi-chan

xxfirebubblesxx


	5. The Type

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

**Chapter 5: The Type**

After the group hug was over, Tamaki declared the club was dismissed, but Haruhi interrupted.

"Sempai, shouldn't you decide what type Sohma-kun is?"

Yuki asked, "Type?"

Tamaki nodded and gushed about how smart his daughter was. Then the entire Host Club crowded around Yuki, peering intently at his face. Yuki stared back blankly, not understanding.

Hani said, "Gentlemanly?"

Tamaki shook his head. "We are all gentlemen."

"Mysterious?" wondered Haruhi aloud."

"He is, demo we all are in a way," the twins said, grinning. "How about princely?" they offered in perfect synchronization. Suddenly, the whirring of a high-powered motor filled the room. Renge appeared, laughing that queer laugh of hers.

"OH HO HO HO! You've got it all wrong!"

Yuki whispered, "Who is she?"

"Renge-chan/san," everybody replied.

"She's our unofficial manager," piped up Hani.

"Does she always appear like that?"

Everybody nodded.

Renge stepped off her rotating platform and headed towards Yuki. She didn't stop until her face was two inches away from his. Yuki took a step back, but Renge followed.

"Renge-san, remember our talk last week on personal space?" reminded Kyoya.

"Ah. Sorry. But never mind that. I figured out what type Yuki-san is!"

"Nani?"

"He's a bishonen!"

"A what?" everyone asked.

"You know, a bishie!"

When they still looked blank, Renge sighed. "That means guy with feminine features."

"Oh!" exclaimed everybody. They all agreed that type fit Yuki perfectly. Yuki sweatdropped but admitted that others (mainly Kyo and his fanclub girls) also thought that. "Then it's settled! Yuki-kun will be our bishonen type! Club dismissed!" exclaimed Tamaki. "Yuki-kun, you start hosting tomorrow." As they all filed out of the Third Music Room, Yuki was glad that he was successful in joining the club, but worried that the Sohma secret would be found out. He wanted to be their friend, but wasn't sure he could trust him with the secret of their curse. Hopefully he could befriend them and not get their secret revealed. _Hopefully._

* * *

"Yuki-kun, you're first week at Ouran is almost over. Did you manage to befriend Suoh-san yet?" asked Tohru. Yuki told her everything that happened that day, including the "being labeled a bishie" part. Tohru congratulated him for getting closer to Tamaki, then told him to wash up since it was almost dinner time. 

After a almost fight-free meal, Kyo and Shigure were watching television while Yuki helped Tohru clean the dishes. Suddenly, the sharp rings of the phone broke the peaceful silence in the house. Shigure picked up the phone. "Hello?" he asked cheerfully. A short pause, then he spoke again, only this time, his voice was more sober. "Hold on. I'll get him."

Shigure handed the phone to Yuki, who had wandered out of the kitchen during the short conversation. "It's Akito." Yuki felt cold all over. He tentatively said, "Hello, Akito."

God's voice rang in his ears. "Ah, Yuki. It's nice to hear from you."

The terrified nezumi choked out, "You...too."

"You're lying," the cold voice snapped at him, then quieted. "It's already Thursday, your fourth day at Ouran. What is your progress?" Trembling, Yuki slowly told him that he managed to enter Tamaki's club and he seemed to accept him happily. Akito laughed cruelly. "Well that's a first." Yuki wisely ignored the barb, but the taunt still stung.

"However, I am pleased at you rate of progress. Do come visit me sometime." Before Yuki could reply, the line went dead. He dropped the phone back into its cradle and automatically went to help Tohru finish drying the dishes. She could tell his mind was elsewhere after he placed the plates back into the sink for the fifth time. Tohru finally plucked up her courage and asked him what was wrong, so he briefly filled her in on the conversation with Akito. She encouraged him with kind words, then offered to finish drying the dishes by herself. Yuki plodded upstairs to finish his English homework, still worrying about the visit he was going to have to make eventually.

* * *

"Kyaa! Who's the new guy? He's so kawaii!" squealed a Host Club customer. The Host Club had a lot of business today, thanks to the newest member. Yuki was charming his designators with his "polite ways and pretty face," as Kaoru and Hikaru put it.  
Haruhi said, "Whatever you call it, it's bringing in a lot of girls." 

At the end of the day, Yuki had been designated nine time. Kyoya was satisfied. Since they weren't cosplaying today, they didn't have to change and could use the last five minutes talking.

"Sugoi! Designated nine times on your first day! Haruhi didn't get that much!" admired Tamaki. "Oh, my dear daughter, did I offend you???Haruhi stared at him and said, "Hai."

"NOOOOO!" screamed Tamaki from his corner of woe. Yuki sweatdropped. "Does he always do that?"

She sighed and nodded. "Sempai? I was kidding. Get up." Tamaki was still sulking, so she ignored him.

"Is it all right to leave him like that?" Yuki glanced at the moody figure that was so lively just a moment ago.

"Tono can switch moods faster than Hani-sempai can eat a cake," reassured the twins.

Kyoya finished calculating today's profit on his pineapple laptop and closed it with a soft click. "Tamaki? Club time's over," reminded the vice president. "Oh. Club dismissed!" cried 'the king' dramatically. Everybody filed out of the room. Yuki overheard Haruhi asking Kyoya why he wasn't staying and him replying that his work was finished. Hani and Mori said their good-byes and left from the back entrance. The rest of them left from the front.

"Yuki-kun, isn't that your car?" pointed Kyoya.

"Eh? It is." Suddenly the car doors opened and out came five gorgeous people. The only girl of the group was a cheerful brunette with blue eyes that rivaled Haruhi's in size. There was also a guy with reddish hair with exotic feral eyes and a Hani-lookalike. The next person that climbed out had black and white hair and his expression was stuck in neutral. The last person was an adult with golden eyes, dark hair that covered one eye, and dressed smartly like a doctor.

"Yuki-kun! Hi!" smiled Tohru, who just spotted him.

"Yuuuuki! Introduce us to your friends!" giggled the Hani-lookalike, peering curiously at them.

"This is Momiji Sohma, Hatsuharu Sohma, Hatori Sohma, Tohru Honda, and the baka neko."

"Hey! Kuso nezumi, wanna fight?" yelled the orange-haired boy.

The boy with bicolored-hair intervened. "No. Yuki hasn't told us who his friends are." He turned to the Host Club (minus Hani and Mori). "My name it Hatsuharu. Haru for short. What's yours?" His blank stare was freaking them out slightly, so Tamaki hurriedly replied, "Tamaki Suoh."

"Kyoya Ootori."

"Haruhi Fujioka."

"Kaoru Hitachiin."

"Hikaru Hitachiin."

Tohru exclaimed, "Wow! I've never met real twins before!" Then she blushed, embarrassed for saying that. Hikaru and Kaoru shared a secret grin, then glided over to her and enveloped her in a loose hug, a twin on each side. She eeped softly and turned a deeper red, since she wasn't used for males to be this close for less than a few seconds, on account of living with the Sohmas.

"What's your name, hime?" asked the twins ignoring the dirty looks _some_ Sohmas were giving them. (cough-Yuki and Kyo-cough)

Tohru stammered, "Tohru Honda, Hitachiin-san, Hitachiin-san."

"Eh? You're Tohru Honda? So that means you live with Yuki?" asked Tamaki.

"Hai!" answered oblivious Tohru.

"...D-demo, you're a GIRL!" shrieked Tamaki and the twins.

"The reason Honda-san came to live with us is a long story," Yuki offered in explanation.

"Hmm...tell it to me later," commanded Kyoya.

"Yuki? Shigure couldn't make it today because I advised his editor to...visit him," interrupted Hatori. "Thank God," muttered Yuki.

Haruhi listened to this interesting conversation and felt she had to ask the question that had been bugging her for some time. "Sohma-kun?" called Haruhi.

"Nani? Just call me Yuki. There are way too many Sohmas now," smiled Yuki.

"Okay. Why did that guy and you call each other animals?" asked Haruhi innocently. Everyone eagerly crowded around to hear the answer. Yuki threw a pleading glance towards his family. They all looked back with helplessness in their gaze. However, Hatori's was clearly shouting, "Lie through your teeth! Just don't tell them the truth."

Yuki took a deep breath and laughed easily. Everybody stared at him; it was that random.

"Kyo and I are old rivals. Because of that, our family calls us the cat and the rat." The Host Club (minus Hani and Mori) seemed to believe him, so the Sohmas and Tohru smiled relievedly.

"Let's go home. Tohru still has salmon cooking in the oven," reminded Kyo. The latter gave a little shriek and immediately jumped into the car. Everyone piled in, while Yuki and Kyo were arguing. Suddenly, they heard Tohru squeal and a blue cloud of smoke billowed out of the open car door. Before anybody could ask what happened, Haru quickly closed the door and Hatori drove off quickly, the car's tires squealing in protest as he sharply rounded a corner and speeded off. They stood there and stared at the blue smoke float away and evaporate.

Tamaki, Kyoya, the twins, and Haruhi blinked in surprise, then Kaoru and Hikaru grinned.

"Tono, don't you think we should get to know Yuki-kun's family a little better?"

"Oh! What a great idea!" Tamaki exclaimed.

"Yes. I would enjoy investigating this mysterious family. The cat and rat story doesn't really fit somehow," remarked Kyoya.

"Yosh! Okaasan agrees!" cheered Tamaki.

Haruhi was still staring at the spot in the clear blue sky where the last traces of the smoke disapppered. "I wonder what made that smoke?"

* * *

In Hatori's car, everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Tohru was now clutching a adorable creamy white rabbit. Hatori and Kyo were sitting in the front, but Yuki and Haru had to be careful not to fall onto Tohru and transform. It was quiet in the car for a few minutes then Tohru whispered, "Do you think they saw that?"

Haru said, "Hai. They looked quite shocked when a plume of blue smoke floated out of the car for no apparent reason."

Momiji looked at them with his red bunny eyes. "Gomen ne. They didn't see me transform, did they?"

Kyo grunted, "Iie. Stop worrying."

Momiji just burrowed deeper into Tohru's embrace, wishing that Kyo's comforting was true.

Yuki said, "It's Friday, ne? Most likely they'll forget during the weekend."

After that, they stayed silent for the rest of the ride, worrying whether or not Hatori had to wipe a few memories.

* * *

Japanese Vocabulary: 

Demo- but

Nani- what

Nezumi- rat/mouse

Kawaii- cute

Sugoi- amazing

Hai- yes

Tono- lord

baka- stupid

neko- cat

kuso- damn

Yosh- all right

Okaasan- mother

Gomen ne- sorry

Iie- no

ne- right

* * *

A/N: Yay me! Mimi-chan is back in the good ol' US of A! Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Ja ne!

Mimi-chan

xxfirebubblesxx


	6. The Phone Call

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

**Chapter 6: The Phone Call**

Tohru woke up to a golden Saturday morning. She sat up and stretched leisurely, glancing at her clock._ Six thirty. A perfect time to get up_. Wriggling out of her cocoon of blankets, she yanked her curtains apart, letting in the early beams of sunlight. Then she pulled out a white peasant blouse and lavender skirt from her closet. Tohru dressed quickly, tied her hair with violet ribbons the same color as Yuki's eyes, and left her room after she tidied it and closed the door softly. As she padded down the hallway, she passed Kyo's door and heard silence_. He's probably out running_. Right next to the cat's room, she could hear a body turning and blankets rustling, proof that Yuki was still asleep. She started down the stairs, careful to avoid the fourth step from the bottom; it was creaky. Tohru walked past Shigure's study, stifling a giggle when she heard him emit a small snore.

She walked into the kitchen, grabbing her yellow apron and tying it on. Pretty soon the stove was boiling a pot of miso soup, cooking vegetables, and frying fish while Tohru used the rice cooker to make four servings. After a few minutes of working in a tranquil silence with occasional sounds of the food cooking, Kyo walked in, sweating profusely. They greeted each other good morning, then he went upstairs to clean himself. Shigure came in next, sniffing at the air delightedly.

"My lovely flower, I swear your cooking smells better every day! Ah, I brings such joy into my heart, just to wake up and see Tohru-chan cooking delicious dishes," sighed the melodramatic novelist. Tohru giggled and informed him that breakfast was almost ready.

* * *

_Black..._

_Soft..._

_Warm..._

'DO DO DO DOOO!'

What is that annoying tune? Kyoya was sure he heard it before. He moaned and burrowed deeper into his bed with no intention of remembering. However, it refused to stop and kept blaring out the string of notes, over and over. Suddenly, Kyoya remembered. It was his cell phone's ring tone. Without opening his eyes, he reached his hand out and hit his nightstand. Fumbling around, he grabbed his cell and opened it.

"Hello?" he growled into the phone.

The caller didn't seem the least bit fazed. "Ohayo Kyoya!"

The Shadow King just grunted, "It's-" -here he checked the time-**"SIX FORTY. IN THE MORNING.**"

Tamaki whimpered pitifully. "Demo, we have to see Yuki-kun's house!" When Kyoya didn't answer, Tamaki whined, "Okaasan? Are you still there?"

Kyoya grunted in response. "Hold on. I'm checking my notes." Feeling very cross, Kyoya picked up his glasses and carefully put them on, then reviewed his little black notebook.

"We can't go this week."

There was a loud whine, followed by a disappointed, "Why not?"

Kyoya explained, "Everyone's busy."

"Hikaru and Kaoru?"

"Meeting some designers from Paris."

"Haruhi?"

"Working."

"Mori-sempai?"

"Kendo competition."

"Hani-sempai?"

"Cheering Mori on."

"You?"

"Busy."

There was a quiet pause on the other end of the line, then the saddest, most dejected sigh Kyoya ever heard came as a reply.

"Understand?" asked Kyoya.

Tamaki nodded, then realized he couldn't see him, so said a mournful yes. Then he perked up. "Hey, can I come over?"

"Don't push it, Tamaki."

Tamaki realized his life was in jeopardy if he continued to keep the Shadow King awake, so he hurriedly said goodbye and hung up. Kyoya sighed, placed his glasses, notebook, and cell phone on his nightstand, then flopped over and fell asleep again.

* * *

Tohru heard a soft sneeze behind her and turned around to see a now-awake Yuki. (1) 

"Eh? Yuki-kun, are you sick?"

Yuki looked very confused, but replied, "Iie."

Tohru smiled, then said breakfast was ready and could he please call Kyo and Shigure?

Yuki nodded, then slowly meandered out of the kitchen, going towards Shigure's study.

After he left, Tohru skillfully used a spatula to turn the fish on its other side and scooped rice into four bowls, then scraped the vegetables onto a large plate. Picking up the food, she carefully walked to the table and put them down, arranging it a few times until she was perfectly satisfied, then she peeled off her apron and waited. Soon afterwards, Shigure trotted down the stairs with Yuki and Kyo arguing behind him. They all sat down and said, "Itadakimasu," and started to eat.

"My lovely flower, this is wonderful, as usual," praised the dog. Kyo grunted in agreement, and Yuki smiled at her. Tohru beamed with joy and settled down to eat too. Somewhere in the distance, a puppy yipped a couple of times. Shigure cocked his head and said, "Ah, today's weather will be marvelous! A soft breeze, clear skies, perfect time to dig up those bones you buried in the yard. Ah ha ha ha!"

Tohru gaped in astonishment. "Shigure-san, that's amazing! Do you always-"

The sharp rings of the phone destroyed "Praising Shigure Time." Tohru excused herself to answer it. With their excellent hearing, the three Jyuunishi members could easily hear Tohru speaking.

She chirped, "Good morning!"

Then there was a pause. In a slightly more somber tone she said, "Hello, Akito-san. Please hold on for a second."

Then light pitter-patters of footsteps approached the dining room. She handed the phone to Yuki with a unidentifiable expression marring her face.

Nibbling nervously at his bottom lip, Yuki took the phone and said, "H-hello, Akito."

The three of them watched the rat's face fill with horror, and started to stutter something out, then gave up. When he hung up, Shigure wanted to know what happened.

Yuki deadpanned, "He wants to see me now. Hatori's going to drive me over."

* * *

After Yuki left, Shigure, Kyo, and Tohru all went to do their respective businesses. While the two guys went upstairs to do whatever they do, Tohru was downstairs cleaning up what was left of breakfast. As she was washing the dishes, she mourned over the ruined breakfast and fretted over the thought that Yuki might still be hungry. _I should have prepared onigiri for him. What was I thinking? Oh, I'm such a idiot!_

When she was finished with the plates, she was still bouncing with nervous energy, so she decided to bake a dessert in the case Momiji might come over. Humming happily, she pulled out the various kitchen utensils she would need, then checked the fridge for all the ingredients. Then she pulled out a cookbook, browsing through the pages until she settled on a recipe that made a dozen strawberry parfaits. Pretty soon she became busy measuring, mixing, and whisking. While the sugar and water were boiling, she washed the strawberries from their secret base and crushed them with a fork to mix into the desserts. After she finished making the parfaits, she poured the mixture into a dozen small glass bowls, covered them with plastic wrap, and placed them into the freezer. The parfaits needed at least 4 hours to freeze, so she decided to visit Kyo on the roof.

* * *

Yuki wrapped his slim fingers around his porcelain teacup, bringing it to his lips and taking a sip of the fragrant tea. The hot liquid soothed his frazzled nerves some and he looked over the rim of his cup to stare at Akito nervously. The head was leaning casually against the door frame, the only object blocking Yuki's view of the garden. A blue kimono was draped loosely around his thin frame, and he had a white bird perched on his index finger. Currently, all his attention was focused on it. Flicking his wrist, Akito threw it off balance, sending it reeling, then taking off into the azure sky. He slowly meandered to the table and sat down, smiling a unidentifiable smile at the quaking rat. Deliberately, he picked up his cup and sipped to wet his mouth. Then he spoke. 

"Yuki. How are you?"

They attempted to make small talk for a while, but soon Akito became impatient.

"Your school life at Ouran, how is it? The principal said you were doing well."

"It's fine."

A small pause. Then...

"Does he trust you?"

Yuki hesitated, then faltered, "Yes." With Akito, there was no "I think" or "perhaps." He disliked dithering people.

"Invite him to Shigure's sometime. Yes...do that."

Yuki stared and started to protest, then bowed his head to show he understood. Akito smiled. "Good." Then, with a sweep of his hand, he dismissed him.

* * *

Vocabulary: 

Ohayo- good morning

Demo- but

Okaasan- mother

Iie- no

Onigiri- riceball

(1) In Japan, there is a superstition; if you sneeze without reason, it means somebody's talking about you.

* * *

So? How was chapter six? TELL ME!! I LOVE THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON :D 

ok. sorry.

**_Please help me think of a cosplay idea!!_** The best thing I have now is fairy people -.-V so lame. HELP!

I finished Hana-Kimi! All 23 volumes! I was really sad when it ended though...it was really good! However, the anime sucks... they use actual people!! Can you believe it? REAL LIVE PEOPLE! And the characters were jerks... couldn't even stand to watch the entire episode 1. Such a disappointment... TT-TT

I watched High School Musical 2! -happy grin- While I was watching it with my little girlfriend (she's 3 years younger than yours truely), somebody was stupid enough to bother us! we were like, WE WAITED 2 YEARS FOR THIS, SO BACK OFF! (We probably sounded like this: grrr...bark bark WOOF!! grrr...) ah hahaha... good times, good times.

R&R so I can get iNsPiReD!

Ja ne, my little snarklings! (just a little joke from To Cast a Curse, chapter 5)

Mimi-chan

xxfirebubblesxx


	7. The Battle: Yuki vs Hani!

**Chapter 7: The Battle: Yuki vs Hani!**

"Good morning, Yuki-san! How was your weekend?" asked Haruhi cheerfully while setting down her bookbag.

"Terrible," muttered Yuki under his breath.

"Eh? Did you say something?"

"Um...It was fine. How was yours?"

"It was all right. Did you think of any good ideas yet?"

_Ideas? "_What ideas?"

Haruhi blinked in surprise. "Tamaki-sempai didn't tell you? We were supposed to brainstorm ideas for our next cosplay."

_Cosplay?_ "What cosplay?"

"We're supposed to dress up---"

_Dress up?!_ "What dress up?!"

Haruhi opened her mouth to answer, but was suddenly interrupted.

"Good morrrrrnnniiing!!" sang two energetic twins who strolled into class 1-A.

"Ne, ne, Yuki, Haruhi! Guess what!"

"What?" asked Yuki and Haruhi.

Hikaru and Kaoru grinned at them and burst out, "Yesterday, we met Celina Delauney!"

Kaoru added, "She's the hottest new fashion designer who took the world by storm with her newest fashion line, Aimée, or Loved!"

As they predicted, Haruhi and Yuki weren't terribly excited by this piece of news; however, they were happy for their friends' sakes.

"Really? That's amazing," said Haruhi.

While the twins were enthusiastically describing Celina's color patterns and "focus point" to a confused Haruhi, Yuki buried his head in his arms and wondered how he was supposed to invite Tamaki without seeming too suspicious. If Tamaki came, the rest of the Host Club would probably tag along also, and because of Haruhi, there was the curse to worry about. In mathematical terms, 1 (clumsy) Tohru + 1 (slightly clumsy) Haruhi x 3 Jyuunishi members equals a catastrophe of infinite proportions. Also, there was the unknown variable of more Sohmas coming to visit. For some strange reason, they're magnetically drawn to trouble like honey draws flies. And if Tamaki, Kyoya, Hani, Mori, and the twins were there as witnesses, Hatori would have a field day erasing memories. _Urg._

Yuki sighed and suddenly heard a voice.

"Sohma-kun? Sohma-kun?" Looking up, he realized the teacher was calling him. Upon further inspection, he realized the bell had already rung and the students were all seated, notebooks out and armed with pens. Even the twins were quietly taking notes and snickering at Yuki's misfortune.

"Class started ten minutes ago. Where's your homework?"

Blushing furiously, Yuki pulled out his homework and handed it to the teacher, then quickly scribbled down the notes on the board. When the class's attention was focused on the teacher again, Yuki sighed and wondered, _What do I do?_

* * *

"Yu-chan! HELLO!" shouted Hani, doing a running jump and landing on Yuki's back, making his knees buckle slightly. Yuki smiled slightly and greeted his sempai half-heartedly. Hani bounced off Yuki and stared at him intently, head cocked to one side.

"Ne, Yu-chan, are you all right? You look tired," commented Hani.

"Eh? No, not really." Actually, Yuki was frustrated because of the Tamaki problem. He had been analyzing it all day, causing him to be irritated and exhausted. The best idea his foggy brain came up involved armor, Rin transformed as a horse, and large cages.

_...Nah._

"Yuuuuuki!" Suddenly, Yuki discovered he was being squeezed ruthlessly by the hyperactive twins.

"What did you come up with for our next cosplay?" asked Hikaru.

Kaoru added, "We couldn't come up with anything!"

"Very strange..." they both said at the same time, sighing heavily. That simple motion made Yuki's long-ish silver hair flutter around his face, causing him to blink in surprise. The twins watched spellbound as he casually swiped the stray strands back and stared back at them.

"...What?" asked a confused Yuki.

"...Ne, Hikaru, did you see that?"

"Un. That was..."

"AMAZINGLY COOL!" screamed the twins, launching themselves at him again. After detaching themselves again from an exasperated Yuki, Hikaru pulled out a sketchbook and began to draw while Kaoru whispered and pointed. Occasionally, they stared at Yuki, then started another storm of whispers. This process repeated itself for a couple of minutes. During that time, everybody in the Host Club arrived, including a flustered Haruhi who had ran all the way across campus. Finally, Hikaru put down his pencil and glanced at Kaoru. He nodded his head solemnly. They strode over to a confused Tamaki and handed him the sketchbook. Tamaki looked at it, and arched his eyebrows. The Host Club grouped around him as he held up the sketchbook. On the page, Hikaru had drawn an angelic Yuki, with fathomless eyes and silvery hair. However, there was a hint of darkness in his eyes, as if his soul wasn't as pure as everyone thought. And they had done all this with a pencil!

Tamaki nodded approvingly, and said, "Very beautifully done. But why?"

The twins shared their secret grin and glanced over at Yuki with their golden eyes.

"He inspires us."

"Hidden past, dark secrets, forbidden feelings. It's all in those eyes."

Yuki blinked nervously and took a small step back. He didn't like the way the Hosts were staring at him. A serious air hung around them, smothering like wet black velvet. It was ripped into shreds when Haruhi started laughing wildly, grasping her side and pointing. Needless to say, all seven of the hosts stared at the cross-dresser, utterly confused. After she caught her breath and wiped away the tears that were flowing down her face, she hastened to explain.

"Sorry, but the thought of you rich bastards having any trouble?! It just makes my sides split."

The twins ditched their seriousness and swarmed Haruhi, demanding haughtily what she meant by that.

"We so do too have problems! Like the time when our shipment of caviar came in late! Instead, we had to eat lobster for the fourth time in that month!"

"Right! Also, just this weekend, our private jet got caught in a storm over Europe, making Celina Delauney wait for five minutes!"

"Sure, sure," nodded Haruhi disbelievingly.

While the "spirited debate" was going on, everybody seemed to have forgotten Yuki, so he started to inch away until he saw the sketchbook Tamaki dropped. Picking it up, his eyes widened as he noted the quality of the picture. Even though it took Hikaru just a few simple lines and ten minutes, he captured the essence perfectly...eh? He was starting to sound like a fangirl! Suddenly, he noticed the twins grinning devilishly as one of them held out a pen.

"Sign it." They sounded like they were asking him to sign his soul over to the devil himself. Hesitatingly, he took the pen and scrawled his signature onto it. After making the last stroke, it was immediately snatched away. As they walked away grinning, Yuki's sensitive ears caught a wisp of conversation.

"...much"

300,000 yen...new Host..."

Then all that could be heard was their soft snickers, blending into the background noise.

_**Muhahaha! What the twins are going to do with it will be revealed later! Remember this part!**_

Blinking, Yuki tuned back into their conversation. Tamaki was proposing a ridiculous idea of lemon cosplay, because "these lovely citrus's need to know they are appreciated! I was thinking lemon meringue pie and lemonade, along with lemon worship time..."

Sweatdropping, Yuki drifted towards the group of unconvinced Hosts and listened to their arguments.

"Tama-chan, what's romantic about a lemon?"

"I'm not sure, but I know we can find it!"

"It's a terrible idea."

"Okaasan!!! So mean..."

"Sempai, Hani-sempai and Kyoya-sempai have a point."

"NOOOO! Even my beloved daughter is going against her daddy!"

While Tamaki was pouting in his corner of woe, the rest of the Hosts started seriously thinking about the problem.

Suddenly Mori had a brilliant idea!

"...Sailors?"

Everyone stared wide-eyed at the silent giant.

"Sailors, huh? That could work..." mused the twins.

Scrawling digits onto his clipboard, Kyoya stated, "Our budget can afford it, but then there won't be any desserts."

Hani wailed, "WHAT? NO DESSERTS? Like cake, and candy, pudding, and cream puffs?"

Tamaki was revived and jumped at the chance to talk. "I have a brilliant idea! What if half of us dressed in the pirate costume from last month? Then we could afford desserts!"

Hani said, "Takashi and I will dress up as pirates again for the sake of desserts! That's okay, right?"

After Mori nodded, Tamaki said, "Okay, we need two more people to dress up as pirates!"

The twins offered and said, "Being bad is more fun!"

"Hey, could we bring in a ship and put tables on the deck?" hollered Hikaru.

"And the wooden posts with seagulls on them! Real, of course," exclaimed Kaoru.

"Stop maxing out our budget," growled Kyoya. Everyone fell silent as he turned to a fresh sheet of paper. Scribbling the prices down in his boyish handwriting, he showed them his calculations.

"This is our budget. It's increased since Yuki-kun brought in more customers. Now, the posts with _**fake**_ seagulls are acceptable, desserts are needed, and a background of the sea will be made. The ship, however, will need to be built to resemble a pirate ship, so that will be expensive and unpractical."

"Aww...okaasan. It's Yuki-kun's first cosplay! Let's splurge for once," whined Tamaki.

Frowning, Kyoya said, "Fine, but if this goes one cent over our budget, it's coming out of your pocket, Tamaki."

Yuki had been quiet all that time, but when Tamaki offered to buy a life-sized model of a pirate ship for him, he had to say something.

"Tamaki-sempai, it's unnecessary to waste money on my account," interrupted Yuki.

Haruhi added, "What if there was something that we could do that could make more money?"

Tamaki squealed, "An epic swordfight between one of the pirates and one of the sailors for the entertainment of our beautiful princesses!"

Kyoya digested that and nodded slowly. "It could work if we persuade the fencing club to give them a lesson, but they have to be naturally quick at learning these things. Hani-sempai already knows fencing, but which sailor would fight?"

It went unsaid that Kyoya wouldn't, so the "pirates" turned to Tamaki, Yuki, and Haruhi.

"Ano, the captain would fight if he knew how..." laughed Tamaki sheepishly.

"Are you kidding? I would poke someone's eye out," sighed Haruhi.

All eyes fell on Yuki.

"Eh? I do martial arts..."

"Excellent! You can fight Hani-sempai right now."said Kyoya, pushing him towards Hani. "and we can judge you."

Facing Yuki with a small grin on his face, Hani said, "Don't worry, Yu-chan! I'll go easy on you!"

Suddenly, the whirring of a high-powered motor filled the room. Renge appeared, sitting at a table with a microphone headset on.

"This is the first battle between Hani-sempai and Yuki-kun! Who will be the winner?"

Sweatdropping, Yuki wondered, _what's going on? _He couldn't see any way out, so he settled into a basic stance and watched Hani intently. He had no idea how good his sempai was. Looks can be deceiving. The two of them started circling one another, no one willing to make the first move.

Suddenly, Hani launched himself in the air and aimed a high kick at Yuki's head.

"Hani-sempai's moves are light and graceful, but Yuki-kun---eh?! He's not bad!" shrieked Renge.

Yuki had jumped into a back flip and landed on his feet a meter away, causing a flock of admiring ooh's and ahh's from their audience.

They grinned slightly at each other. It was silently acknowledged that Hani wouldn't go easy on him anymore.

"Yuki-kun's move now. He's elegant and precise while attacking, making him a difficult opponent! What an intense aura!"

Switching from defense to offensive, Yuki ran towards his unmoving sempai and started swiftly throwing punches. Hani managed to dodge all of them just by sidestepping, but Yuki dropped down and tried to sweep Hani's legs from underneath him.

"Ooh, the legendary double-trouble punch/side kick attack! But what's this? Hani jumped and...oh my!" gasped Renge.

To retaliate, Hani had jumped up, and single-handedly gained more momentum by bouncing off Yuki's back with the palm of his right hand.

"Hani-sempai has bounced out of trouble successfully and---what's this?! Yuki-kun has turned around and punched him!"

A second after Hani had pushed off of Yuki's back, he had twisted his body and sent Hani flying with a direct smack to his head, mastered after years of living with Shigure and his perverted antics.

Renge excitedly yelled, "Hani-sempai has drawn his weapon in midair!"

Frantically, Yuki looked up, thinking, _weapon?! What weapon?_

"Smoke bombs! What will Yuki-kun do?!"

Hani threw the five green little bombs right before collapsing in an ungraceful heap on the floor. Time seemed to slow down as everyone's eyes followed them up, up, up, then gravity pulled them down, right in front of Yuki, then they exploded with an ear-splitting **BOOM!** Blinded by the thick smog, everyone started coughing, Renge's coughs magnified by her headset. As the air started to clear, the Host Club could see Yuki kneeling on the marble floor, still coughing.

"Yuki-kun, are you all right?" asked Haruhi, placing a hand on his trembling shoulder. Suddenly, her brow creased in worry as she turned to Tamaki.

"Sempai, I think he's having trouble breathing!"

Tamaki ran over to where Haruhi was crouched next to Yuki, leaned over, and listened to his irregular breathing. Straightening up, he panicked, "Kyoya, what do we do?"

Slightly worried, Kyoya quickly walked over and knelt down. After listening to his labored breathing, he started undoing Yuki's tie, ignoring the loud "moe" from Renge. Hikaru and Kaoru bounced over, ogling at Kyoya's behavior.

"Kyoya-sempai, I never knew you were a crazed homo who likes to take advantage of dying people!" they shrieked.

"Your stupidity amazes me," snapped Kyoya. "The smoke must have triggered his asthma, therefore loosening his tie will help him breathe easier." Hani ran over, took one look at Yuki, then burst into tears.

Grabbing Haruhi's arm, he wailed, "I'm sorry, Yu-chan! I didn't try to hurt you on purpose! Don't die on us! WAHHH!"

Tamaki was still panicking, running around like a headless chicken.

Kyoya suggested, "Tamaki, instead of doing nothing, why don't you get an inhaler from the nurse before Yuki-kun passes out?"

"Right! Come on Mori-sempai!"

Inside Yuki's head:

_Great. I'm going to die. These fools aren't doing anything! Worse, I'm going to transform in front of them, then die. No, what will probably happen is I transform, they find out, then Akito kills me while Hatori erases their memories._

Pretty soon those morbid thought took their toll as Yuki's eyelids drooped and as the Host Club looked on helplessly, passed out.

His last thought?

_I hate this school._

_

* * *

_A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYOYA!! 

Hello, hello! I'm so sorry! I haven't updated this story since...AUGUST 20th!! oh no...

I'm so sorry...sob sob. I didn't even realize 11/22 was Kyoya's birthday until I re-read the manga and realized. So, this chapter is for a) Thanksgiving, and b) Kyoya's b-day!

Thank you for all the inspiring reviews that forced me to get my lazy butt moving! XD

Have a happy Thanksgiving!

P.S. If you're reading this on Thanksgiving, shame on you! Go out there and be with your family and thank the lord you're not me, who has to babysit 11 brats while their parents come here tonight to eat and play mah-jong. I adore kids, but there's going to be crying drooly babies, obnoxious little-miss-know-it-all's, and little girls who cry if their plates aren't pink! They're gonna eat me ALIVE!

oh well...maybe it's divine punishment for not updating in a while...

Please review so you can lift my spirits tomorrow when I'm in the hospital, diagnosed with internal bleeding and loss of logical reasoning...

Ja ne (hopefully)

Mimi-chan  
xxfirebubblesxx


	8. The Mabudachi Trio

Disclaimer: I wish.

**Chapter 8: The Mabudachi Trio**

As soon as Yuki slumped over, the Host Club froze.

"Yu-chan?" squeaked Hani, releasing Haruhi's arm and gently prodding the unconscious teen. When he didn't respond, Hani launched himself towards Mori, who was only halfway out the door, following Tamaki.

"Takashi! I killed him!" sobbed Hani hysterically. "I'm a fugitive!"

Patting Hani's blond head reassuringly, Mori strode over and picked Yuki up easily.

Haruhi questioned, "Mori-sempai, where--?"

"Nurse," responded the senior shortly, already through the tall pink portals of the Third Music Room. Everyone quickly stood up and ran after Mori.

* * *

Never before at Ouran High School has this been seen: All seven of the original Host Club members running through the hallways, with...

"their fallen comrade clutched lovingly in their arms! BRIDAL STYLE! MOE!" shrieked the overexcited Ouran ladies. Perfectly polished leather shoes squeaked as they skidded around corners, running so quickly that light yellow dresses billowed up along with their owners' frantic squeals. Finally, they reached the nurse's office.

Tamaki shouted, "Starlight Kick!" and smashed the door open with his foot dramatically. The nurse looked up, startled, as the glorious Host Club stormed inside, clutching an unconscious teen.

"Oh my! What happened?" asked the nurse frantically, bustling over. "Never mind, get your friend on the bed and notify the doctor!"

Haruhi watched amazed as doctors appeared out of nowhere and wheeled out a huge machine, shrieking, "Call the boy's parents! Hook up the machine! Code Blue! Code Blue!"

_So...so melodramatic... _Haruhi sweatdropped as Tamaki collapsed next to Yuki's bed, wailing, "WHY? He was so young!"

"Tono!" sobbed the twins, kneeling next to Tamaki.

After ten minutes of scenes that could have been from a Korean hospital drama, Haruhi was feeling quite annoyed. Wading through their puddle of tears, she gave a good smack to each of their heads, pulled the three of them by their ears, and plopped them down on the beige sofa.

_**A/N: Really, there are no such things as commoners' plastic chairs at Ouran! What were you thinking?!**_

"Listen, wailing like Yuki-kun is already dead isn't going to help!" seethed Haruhi.

"A-already?!" sniffed Hani, eyes starting to water again. "Haru-chan, is Yu-chan going to die?"

"N-no! Of course not! I mean, we have to be strong, so Yuki-kun can know we're here for him!"

"But Haruhi, he looks dead..." whispered Hikaru and Kaoru.

Everyone turned around and shuddered at the large blinking machine that had an oxygen mask. Currently, the strange implement was covering Yuki's mouth.

"Yeah...that hose looks like it's sucking the life out of him..." whimpered Tamaki.

"Idiots. That's the newest piece of medical technology, the B.R.E.A.T.H. 5000," explained Kyoya.

Suddenly, the poor battered door, which was still recovering from Tamaki's foot (which was throbbing madly now), was once again smashed down as a voice screeched "Hi-yah!"

Startled, the Host Club members turned to look at the smoking door, damaged beyond repair. From the mist, an ethereal angel appeared. With sleek, glossy hair braided neatly and wearing a flattering red robe, it was impossible to tell what gender the stranger was. Nevertheless, he/she/it (They swore it could have been an angel, honest!) stole their breath away as he/she/it gazed at them with exquisite golden eyes. Then, the stranger's soft lips parted, and all their little fantasies and dreams were shattered.

It wasn't because his voice, decidedly male, was terrible-- it was the words he uttered with such flamboyant passion, hurling himself to the prone figure lying on the bed that scared the wits out of them.

"YUUUUUKIIII!! You're d-dead?! Oh, as soon as I heard the news, I rushed over here as fast as I could, knowing that in your last moments, you must have been pining for your beloved niisan!"

"NIISAN?!" the Host Club echoed, gaping at this effeminate man who was the polar opposite from the Yuki they knew.

"Hai, hai! Ayame here is Yuki's elder brother! He never told you?" asked a handsome man in a navy blue yukata, stepping gingerly over the remains of the mangled door. Following him closely was Hatori, who immediately went to Yuki's side, only giving a curt nod to their all salutations.

"Aya," pouted Shigure. "It wasn't very nice of you to ditch us as soon as that nice girl gave us instructions!"

"And who are you?" inquired Kyoya politely. Underneath his calm demeanor, he was furious with himself that he didn't do enough research on this Yuki Sohma. But really, who would have known that calm and composed Yuki would have such a-- for lack of a better adjective--Tamaki-like elder brother?

"Who, me? I'm the great novelist, Shigure Sohma! Also known as Yuki's cousin and guardian! Add Aya and Hari and we're the Mabudachi Trio!"

"Gure!" cried Aya, flinging himself into Shigure's arms. "Y-yuki" (sniff) "left us" (gasp) "to go to" (sharp inhale) "other world!"

Shigure launched into the role of the protective seme as soon as he picked up Aya's cue.

"My dear Aya, he may have left you, but I never will," declared Shigure, wrapping his arms protectively around his trembling friend.

With teardrops resting delicately on his long eyelashes, Ayame gave one last hiccuping sob and glanced shyly at Shigure. "I-if you would be willing to do that, Gure, then that's all my little heart asks for..." The Host Club was in suspense at this display of homo-homo love. Even the twins were impressed at the swirl of sparkles and flowers that seemed to fly around Shigure and Aya.

The "moment" was ruined when they jumped up and grinned, giving each other the thumbs-up to the surprise of their audience.

"NICE!"

Hatori sighed, irritated. "You've been doing that act since high school. Shouldn't it have become old by now?"

They promptly replied, "Never."

"High school, eh?" Haruhi quirked her eyebrows. "Sounds like somebody I know. In fact, make that two somebodies."

As Hikaru and Kaoru glided over to chat with Ayame, Shigure introduced himself to Shadow King. He gave a friendly smile, knowing fully that this teenager was the mastermind Kyoya Ootori.

Kyoya returned the introductions and they exchanged gilded smiles. He knew this Shigure was not the easy-going guy he appeared to be. There was something mysterious and disturbing deep within those dark eyes and polite smile.

"So!" he said abruptly, spinning around and going to Hatori. "How's dear little Yuki-kun?"

Hatori was flipping through the report that had been filled out by the nurse a while ago. "According to this, it seems like he inhaled an excessive amount of smoke..." Staring down the Host Club, he asked, "Do you know anything about this?"

Quivering, Tamaki stepped forward for the explanation. "Ah...our sincerest apologies, Sohma-san. We were just...playing!"

Hatori stared at him with his piercing eye, then turned away and murmured, "Hm. I see."

Truly worried, Haruhi stepped up and voiced the million-dollar question. "Will Yuki-kun be all right?"

Diverting his attention from the report, Hatori peered at this plain-looking boy with the huge brown eyes. Suddenly, he blinked in realization. Looking at her worried expression with a slightly softer gaze than the death glare he shot Tamaki with, he replied, "Yes. I think he will be."

During Hatori and Haruhi's conversation, Kyoya had been leaning against the wall, scanning the room. All the doctors had disappeared again save for one nurse that was offering Hani a lollipop while Mori hovered protectively over him. The twins were still talking to Yuki's elder brother, who was waving his arms flamboyantly. Tamaki had also joined the group and was hanging on to Aya's every word. Rubbing his temples, Kyoya sighed. Hatori-san was the kind of proper doctor he usually associated with, but Shigure and Ayame seemed more like the King and his devils: flirtatious, carefree, and resplendent. This afternoon had been quite stressful for him, and he longed to go home and sleep; however, the businessman inside him chided Kyoya for not using this golden opportunity to get closer with the Sohmas, owners of a large and painfully exclusive private company. As he was mulling this over, Tamaki shouted, "Okaasan! Come here!"

Growling in frustration, Kyoya strode over and plastered on his "open-for-business" smile, mostly for Ayame. "Yes?"

Grabbing his arm, Tamaki excitedly said, "Kyoya, Ayame-san is the owner of a clothing store! He could make our cosplay costumes for us!"

Ayame tossed his head proudly. "Cosplay is my specialty! I'll be glad to give a special discount to my little brother's friends!"

Hikaru and Kaoru grinned. "Isn't he awesome, Kyoya-sempai?" they chorused.

Kyoya was secretly delighted. He had been looking for an opportunity and surprisingly, the baka Tamaki had created it! Giving Ayame a smile, he stuck out his hand for a handshake. "That would be delightful. Would this be problematic for you, Sohma-san?"

Ayame laughed and shook Kyoya's hand in a remarkably firm grip. "No problem at all, Kyoya-kun! No need to be so formal; Ayame is fine!"

As they were sealing the deal, Hikaru and Kaoru grinned and pulled out Kyoya's laptop. "Guess what, Kyoya-sempai?"

"What?"

"We auctioned off Yuki's autographed picture for 593,000 yen!" they cheered, showing Kyoya the Host Club's auction page on their website.

_**A/N: Remember chapter 7? I told you to remember that part! **_

Kyoya was pleased. _Who knew this Yuki Sohma could be so useful? _He mused as he entered the digits into the Host Club's budget. Later, when Yuki regained consciousness, he would find out that the Mabudachi Trio was here, the twins and Tamaki adored Ayame, Hani had eaten 10 lollipops while Mori silently disapproved, some rabid fangirl had bought his picture and was probably drooling over it, and the pirates/sailor idea was off since Ayame was making their cosplay costumes. After hearing all this, Yuki wished this cursed week was over already. Alas, it was only Monday and he still hadn't gotten around to asking Tamaki over.

_...Damn it._

* * *

The unnatural glow of the computer monitor cast over Kyoya's normally handsome features gave him an eerie look. Huddled over his laptop, Kyoya was busy researching the Sohmas. His elder sister Fuyumi had come in earlier, offering to turn on the lights, but he had refused. Now he was tapping furiously at the keys, trying to find valuable information about the Sohmas, but it was turning out to be difficult. It _seemed_ like there was a lot of information about this family, but they hid in the shadows, silently pulling the strings in the background.

Frustrated, Kyoya adjusted his glasses and sipped at his coffee, but to his displeasure, it had turned cold. He glanced at the clock and was startled to discover it was already 10:52. He had researched everything about Yuki, Shigure, Hatori, Ayame, Kyo, Hatsuharu, Momiji, and Tohru and compiled it into a short list.

_**A/N: Le gasp! An actual peek into what Kyoya writes in his black notebook! This is the result of hours of researching everything he could get his hands on, including old school records, government records, and even the FBI records! Hey, with the amount of power the Ootoris have, it could be possible. -shrugs-**_

-Name: Yuki Sohma

-Gender: Male

-Age: 16

-Height: 170.5

-Weight: 54kg

-Bloodtype: A

-Sign: Virgo

-Occupation: 9th grader at Ouran High School

**Comments:**

-Status of parents: unknown

-Has a 10-year-older brother, Ayame (see below)

-Had severe asthma and bronchitis

-Had fanclub made up of more than 50 percent of the girls

-Straight A student

-Reason for transferring: unknown

-Lives with Shigure Sohma, Kyo Sohma, and Tohru Honda

-On bad terms with Kyo. Calls him "stupid cat." Lame excuse why they called each other animals. Must investigate.

-Peculiar hair/eye color. Must confirm if it's natural.

--

-Name: Kyo Sohma

-Male

-Age: 16

-Height: 171.3

-Weight: 54kg

-Bloodtype: A

-Sign: Capricorn

-Occupation: 9th grader at Kaibara High School

**Comments:**

-Grades: average

-Mother committed suicide when he was little. Father abandoned him.

-Gets into fights

-Lives with Shigure Sohma, Yuki Sohma, and Tohru Honda

-On bad terms with Yuki. Calls him "damn rat." Must investigate.

-Peculiar hair/eye color. Must confirm if it's natural.

--

-Name: Hatusharu "Haru" Sohma

-Male

-Age: 15

-Height: 170.2

-Weight: 57.5kg

-Bloodtype: O

-Sign: Cancer

-Occupation: 8th grader at Mirumo Middle School _**A/N: Fiiine. I made it up. In my defense, we never find out what which middle school Haru and Momiji go to!**_

**Comments:**

-On good terms with Mother and Father

-Lives at Sohma Compound (address filed away for future reference)

-Close to Momiji?

-Peculiar hair/eye color. Must confirm if it's natural.

--

-Name: Momiji Sohma

-Age: 15

-Height: 155.8

-Weight: 47.5kg

-Bloodtype: O

-Sign: Pisces

-Occupation: 8th grader at Mirumo Middle School _**A/N: Fiiine. I made it up. In my defense, we never find out what which middle school Haru and Momiji go to!**_

**Comments:**

-Half German, half Japanese, which explains unique hair color

-For reasons unknown, does not live with parents at Sohma Compound

-Has a little sister, Momo Sohma

-Strong resemblance to Hani-sempai

-Close to Haru?

--

-Name: Hatori Sohma

-Age: 26

-Height: 182

-Weight: 69kg

-Bloodtype: A

-Sign: Cancer

-Occupation: Doctor

**Comments:**

-Sohma family's private doctor

-Best friends with Ayame and Shigure Sohma, his distant cousins

-Peculiar eye color. Must confirm if it's natural.

--

-Name: Ayame Sohma

-Age: 26

-Height: 175

-Weight: 63kg

-Bloodtype: O

-Sign: Sagittarius

-Occupation: Tailor and Store Owner

**Comments:**

-Is ten years older than brother Yuki

-His store, Ayame, is quite popular being "the place where male fantasies come true." (address filed away for future reference)

-Peculiar hair/eye color that is completely different from Yuki's. Must confirm if it's natural.

--

-Name: Shigure Sohma

-Age: 26

-Height: 178

-Weight: 68.5kg

-Bloodtype: AB

-Sign: Scorpio

-Occupation: Novelist

**Comments:**

-Wrote many books, some of questionable quality _**A/N: aww...Kyoya, say it like it is! S-M-U-T. Smut! And if you're actually reading Kyoya's list, yay for you!**_

-Owns a two-story traditional Japanese-styled home in the woods. (address filed away for future reference)

-Very mysterious. Must investigate more.

--

-Name: Tohru Honda

-Age: 16

-Height: 156.7

-Weight: 46kg

-Bloodtype: O

-Sign: Taurus

-Occupation: 9th grader at Kaibara High School

**Comments:**

-Orphan

-Daughter of Katsuya Honda and Kyoko (formerly known as Red Butterfly, gang member)

-Grades: average

-Looks: average

-Lives with Shigure, Kyo, and Yuki Sohma, three unrelated men

-Used to live with fraternal grandfather

**-End of list-**

Needless to say, some of the details surprised him. Even though he had researched them thoroughly, some details had escaped him. Also, it was quite strange that so many of their parents were not a prominent part of their lives; however, the most amazing part of his report showed that the Sohmas had such unique coloring of their hair and eyes that he really should confirm if it's natural.

Suddenly, Kyoya wanted to smack himself in the face. _The Ootori online hospital records! _It was highly probable that at least one Sohma had gone to the largest chain of hospitals in Japan! Kyoya was able to get inside the database fairly quickly with his personal username and password and started to snoop around.

_Jackpot. _

He smiled victoriously as he clicked on a link labeled Sohma, Yuki. It was from a few years back, but it would do. Especially if it was the right boy.

Kyoya Ootori was not a person you could gross out easily. He was the son of the CEO of the Ootori Hospital business. He had studied all kinds of infections, wounds, boils, rashes, viruses, and the results of infectious diseases. However, when he saw a picture of a small boy staring at him with large, pained eyes, he felt queasy. Skimming the report, he picked out words like "bruised," "fractured," and "signs of abuse." Checking the date at the bottom of the page, he calculated that Yuki was around eight years old at that time.

Realizing that there were a few related searches, he recognized Hatori's name. He clicked on the link, slightly apprehensive. This report was more recent, only a couple of years old. The doctor was pale and had a bloodstained patch over his left eye. Kyoya realized, _This was the reason he wore his hair so long on one side. _

Not bothering to skim the report anymore, he went back to the main page and typed in Sohma. When the results came up, he was startled to discover that some names came up over and over again, with only a few years between every entry. Grabbing a pen, he scrawled down the names Yuki, Kyo, Hatori, Kisa, Isuzu, and Kureno. There were many more, but he was pretty confident that these people were _the_ Sohmas he was researching because of the extreme vagueness of how their injuries occurred.

Kyoya leaned back and started thinking. Now, unless the Sohmas were the most accident-prone family ever, these were obvious signs of abuse. What also interested him was how large the Sohma family was, but for some reason, only a select few could actually live inside the sprawling main compound. Another item of interest that kept reappearing on his list and his mind was how unique their hair and eye color was and why only these people on his list had this gene.

Suddenly, Kyoya was consumed by a wave of tiredness. All these questions were beginning to give him a migraine and it was almost midnight.

Finally turning off his laptop and crawling into bed, Kyoya rubbed his temples (he seemed to be doing that a lot lately), and tried to focus on how much money the Host Club saved. Asking Ayame to do the cosplay costumes (he never told them what it would look like, just promised that it would be fantastic and original) helped a lot and how the twins had sold Yuki's picture for nearly 600,000 yen was a brilliant move; however, his mind kept on wandering back to the enigma that was the Sohma family.

He smiled. Perhaps he should remind the rest of the Host Club of their previously urgent need to go visit Yuki's home. And perhaps he would tag along.

* * *

**_A/N: Yay! Happy birthday to meee, happy birthday to meeeee, happy birthday to mimi-chan, happy birthday to meeee!_**

**_It's my birthday today! Huzzah! For you readers/reviewers out there, I've posted this chapter today just so you guys could also appreciate my birthday! lol. that sounded so shallow/superficial. sorry!_**

**_Unfortunately, I cannot tell you my real age, but I can say that I'm the same age as my nose, and slightly older than my teeth. :)_**

**_Please read and review! Also, if you're a fan of Peacemaker Kurogane or Rurouni Kenshin or both, check out my friend Tokio Star's (formerly one step) stories! She's new and doesn't have many reviews, so if you could review her stories, she'd be really happy! Thank you!_**

**_Ja ne!_**

**_mimi-chan  
xxfirebubblesxx_**


	9. The Cookies

Disclaimer: I own OHSHC and/or Fruits Basket?! haha. You make me laugh.

**Chapter 9: The Cookies**

It seemed like an ordinary Wednesday-- the bare tree branches crisscrossed against the pale blue of the early morning sky, like delicate lace. Yuki had been enrolled in Ouran for exactly ten days now, and he had (indirectly) caused the thing that the Host Club said would never happen: for once, Kyoya Ootori, the evil low blood-pressure demon lord, was early. That's right-- EARLY. TO SCHOOL. We should now check if the rivers are filled with blood, or if hell froze over. Maybe the pigs are flying to Kagura's house right now!

After the chauffeur opened the door for him, he trudged out, bookbag tucked under one arm, a strong cup of (non-instant) black coffee in the other. To the ordinary observer, Kyoya seemed like his regular composed self, but to someone like Haruhi, they might notice that his hair was a little bit more mussed and he was still incredibly sleepy. Last night, he had revised his list by cutting out the part about the strange signs of abuse from Yuki's childhood and omitting the other Sohmas completely.

He planned to give this information to Tamaki, with Yuki's address placed conveniently on top; however, in order to be subtle, he had to slip it nonchalantly into his English textbook before school started. Kyoya knew that Tamaki didn't have English class today, but he would always take his textbook home with him. Stopping his train of thought to take a sip of coffee, Kyoya made a disgusted face as it scalded his tongue. The wind was blowing even harder now, and he quickly broke into a brisk stride.

* * *

"Where are we going?" asked Yuki as class 1-A walked down the wide hallways of Ouran.

Haruhi shrugged. "I think it's a new class they're trying."

Kaoru pouted, "Mo...why didn? t they make the lower blocks like class 1-D be the guinea pigs?"

Hikaru laughed and swung an arm around his twin's shoulders. "You're just sulking because they canceled Modern Literature to make time."

Yuki smiled. "Kaoru-san, you like Modern Literature?"

Kaoru nodded. "Yup. My favorite book we discussed in class is Heart Pounding."

Yuki wondered, _Heart Pounding? Now where have I heard that book before? _

Seeing Yuki's confusion, Kaoru asked, "Have you ever heard of it? Yoku Kuyi wrote it! He's really great!"

Yuki jaw almost dropped. Now he remembered! Heart Pounding was one of the books Shigure wrote under that stupid pen name! Curse the day when Shigure had the "brilliant" idea to scramble the letters of Yuki and Kyo's first names, resulting in Yoku (Kyou) Kuyi (Yuki). He had paid dearly for that little practical joke.

"Great is not the adjective I would use to describe him," mumbled Yuki angrily. _More like perverted, idiotic, and brainless._

"Yuki-kun, we're here," said Haruhi, tapping him lightly.

"Ah. Okay." The entire class walked through a large doorway into one of Yuki's scariest nightmares: the room was filled with state-of-the-art cooking appliances.

"Eeh? A cooking class? Boooring," said the twins dryly.

"But cooking is a very useful skill, right?" asked Haruhi, looking interested by the rows of sleek, stainless steel ovens.

"Not if you have servants to do it for you," replied the twins.

Sighing, Haruhi shook her head slightly. _Rich bastards. _

The voice of their teacher broke their conversation.

"Welcome to Home Economics!" the teacher said happily. "I'm Rena-sensei! Pleased to meet you! Now, even though everyone is going to grow up and become rich CEOs, politicians, lawyers, or owners of large cooperations, and will have servants to cook for them, it's always best to have this useful skill!"

Haruhi flashed a small smirk at the twins, who retaliated by sticking their tongues out at her.

Rena-sensei continued to babble on, unaware of the little "conflict" going on. "Now, everyone needs partners! You may pick your own." Suddenly, the air was filled with an unbearable tension, so thick it was almost tangible. Yuki felt the all-too-familiar prickling at the back of his neck, signaling that around a dozen girls were eyeing him hungrily. Beside him, Haruhi shifted uncomfortably, still somewhat unused to being stared at. On the other hand, the twins were cool as cucumbers, looking bored with all the attention. A lone girl broke away from the yellow-clad crowd and timidly approached Yuki.

"Um..." Yuki recognized her as one of his regular designators, but the name slipped his mind. "C-can you please be my partner?" The red-faced girl spat out in a rush, breathing heavily. Startled, he glanced at the twins for help, only to find out they were already partnered together and were grinning at his dilemma.

Cursing them in his mind, he noticed Haruhi was also having the same problem as him. Suddenly, another girl bounded over and clutched Yuki's arm possessively. "No way! Yuki-sama is going to partner up with me, ne?" Staring down at the girl, he recognized her as his most troublesome customer... "Hirota-san?"

Said girl giggled cutely, flipping back her long black hair. "Yuki-sama, I already told you to call me by my first name, Kaede!" Turning to her "opponent," she smirked, "Yuki-sama wants to bake cookies with me, not with the frizzy-haired freak." While the "frizzy-haired freak" was sputtering with outrage, she had already moved on to harass Haruhi's girl.

"Hey! Tanaka! You've got to be kidding me! You'd actually choose that commoner over Yuki-sama? Your parents would be appalled!" laughed Kaede.

Bristling angrily, Tanaka snapped, "There's nothing wrong with Fujioka-san!"

Kaede shrugged, "Sure...of course there's nothing wrong with the poorest scholarship student in Ouran. Less competition for me!" she squealed, squeezing Yuki's arm so tightly he felt that his circulation was being cut off. Besides, Kaede was getting too close for comfort, so he tried to detach her clinging arms from him discreetly. By now, a group of angry Haruhi fangirls had gathered around Kaede, demanding what she meant by that. While they were fighting, Haruhi and Yuki quietly paired up together.

Just as the fight seemed like it was leading to punches, the spaced-out teacher bounced back to earth and quickly sorted it out. When the fangirls realized that all the Host Club members were already partnered together, they grudgingly paired up among themselves, quite disgruntled. Relieved that the class had settled down, Rena-sensei beamed brightly and told everyone to put on an apron and flip to page 12 of their gourmet cookbook. "Now, for our first dish, we'll be making cookies! Please follow the recipe and ask if you need help!"

Scanning the relatively simple instructions, Haruhi smiled. She had a feeling she would fit quite well in this class, until Yuki tapped her gently.

"Haruhi-san, I have somewhat of a confession to make."

"Yes?"

"I can't cook."

Oh. Well, he couldn't be that bad. She knew for a fact that he was one of the top students in their class. As long as he could read and follow the recipe exactly, what could go wrong? They would totally ace this course. Besides, as she tuned in to the general buzz of conversation around her, she could hear her confused, pampered classmates slowly dampen their teacher's bubbly personality with their questions.

"Rena-sensei, what's a tsp?"

"Rena-sensei, how do you 'fold an egg?' "

"Sensei, I'm allergic to peanuts, so can I go to the nurse?"

Shaking her head slightly, she said, "You can't possibly be worst that these rich bastards...or are you one too?"

Yuki shook his head. "Before Honda-san came to live with us, Shigure and I lived alone, so we would do all the cooking, but it...wasn't the greatest. The only edible food Shigure could make was pickled radish and curry, while everything I touched turned to ashes. Shigure never did figure out how I burnt the miso soup," Yuki concluded thoughtfully.

Sweatdropping, Haruhi wondered, _How _do_ you burn soup? _Then, she realized this was the most she? d ever heard about Yuki's private life from his own lips. All the information she knew about him before was via Kyoya? s research, but for him to really open up like this was quite refreshing.

"It's all right! I'll help, okay?"

Relieved, Yuki nodded and picked up their cookbook. As he softly read out the ingredients they needed, Haruhi looked for them in the cabinets located under their cooking counter. They steadily picked their way through the recipe, Haruhi doing the actual mixing while Yuki read out the recipe and handed the ingredients to her. With the two of them working together, they managed to finish quickly. While Yuki was spooning even lumps of cookie batter onto the tray, Haruhi started putting away the rest of the materials. After Haruhi finished wiping the counter, she noticed that Yuki was also done with the cookie dough: there were perfect little balls in orderly rows. Lastly, they slid the tray into the pre-heated oven, and set it to bake for twenty minutes.

Haruhi sat down tiredly and exclaimed, "We're finished!"

Yuki lowered himself onto the chair next to her, nodding slightly. "Thank you."

Haruhi turned to look at his small smile. "No problem! I enjoy cooking."

Yuki shook his head, understanding her confusion. "I mean for showing me it was possible to be in a kitchen without anything exploding."

Haruhi laughed, blissfully unaware of the evil glares of the Yuki Fangirls. Their classmates were still driving their poor teacher crazy with their inane questions.

Suddenly, a loud explosion demolished their peaceful companionship, immediately stopping the insistent hum of questions. A nanosecond later, everyone started screaming as globs of sticky brown batter flew everywhere, landing with a sickening splat on the pristine uniforms and clean countertops. Everyone turned to glare at the source of the explosion: Hikaru and Kaoru. Specks of thick brown batter clung to their clothes and faces, slack-jawed. The twins were standing completely still, shocked by the loud explosion. Hikaru kept on pouring baking soda into the bowl while Kaoru was gripping tightly onto the four-speed mixer, which was still spinning frantically and spattering more of the concoction. The entire scene was a tableaux, frozen in time, until Rena-sensei jumped up, a furious expression possessing her usually cheerful demeanor. Storming over to the twins, she snatched the box of baking soda of Hikaru's limp hands, and pulled the plug of the mixer, causing it to sputter and stop.

"What in the world were you doing?" she seethed, glaring angrily at them. The whole class was deathly silent, waiting to hear the twins' response.

They replied, "Making cookies."

"B-but, none of these ingredients were in the recipe!" stammered Rena-sensei, pointing accusingly at the bottles of maple syrup, vinegar, peanut butter, pepper, and a whole lot of other condiments.

The twins shrugged. "We know."

Hikaru continued, "It's just that your cookie recipe was so bland..."

"...we needed to make some modifications," finished Kaoru.

The teacher looked like she didn't know whether to punish them for not following directions, or to congratulate them for trying new things. Then, she snapped out of it and told everyone to "clean themselves up and go change." When Kaede snidely pointed out there were no extra uniforms, Rena-sensei glared at her. "Change into your PE uniforms. For those who don't have PE, go ask the office if they have any spare uniforms." When the students started grumbling about walking around in their gym shorts all day, she snarled, "NOW."

As the class was filing out of the classroom, Hikaru and Kaoru sidled next to Yuki and Haruhi, crouching down and trying to blend in. Reaching into the crowd, Rena-sensei located them easily, due to their unique hair color. "As for you two, start cleaning up!" she snapped, pushing cleaning supplies into their hands. "Instead of the janitors, you will be cleaning this room." Ignoring their protests, she strode out, saying, "I'll be back after I change!" Glumly, Kaoru started picking up discarded aprons and stuffing them into a laundry bag while Hikaru filled a bucket with soapy water and started to mop the floor. After a few minutes, a small "ahem" made them glance up.

"Haruhi! What are you doing here?" asked Kaoru. "Shouldn't you be at your next class?"

Strolling into the dirty classroom, she said nonchalantly, "Rena-sensei let me come back and skip my next class." The twins noticed she had gotten rid of the batter stuck to her hair and clothes.

Hikaru grinned, "Say, while you're here, help us clean up, will you?"

Haruhi smirked, "I'm just here for my cookies."

Seeing the twins pout, she sighed as if she was saying, _What am I going to do with you? _

"Of course I'm going to help," she said, exasperated. "But I have no idea why. It is your own fault." Seeing their sticky faces beam brightly, she laughed and said, "Come on in, sempais!" Amazed, the twins gaped as the rest of the Host Club walked in, armed with an array of cleaning supplies. Tamaki, Hani, Mori, and Kyoya all stared at the disaster zone they were in.

"You villainous twins, what did you do?" groaned Tamaki.

Kyoya tilted his head so his glasses reflected the light, saying, "If Rena-sensei decides to sue the Host Club...well. We should make sure that doesn't happen, hmm?" he smiled thinly, staring at the quivering twins.

Hani was busy poking at a large glob of batter. "Look Takashi! It's squishy!"

"Ah." Which, in Mori-speak, could mean a number of things.

Picking up a rag and a bottle of window cleaner, Yuki reminded them, "This job's not going to get down by itself." With that, the Host Club went to work.

Mori started to help Yuki wipe the smeared windows, his height being an advantage. At first, Tamaki had been reluctant to offer assistance to clean up after the "devils' dirty work," but after Kyoya mentioned this was the genuine commoner's clean-up experience Tamaki wanted, he had energetically started mopping with Hikaru, occasionally moaning something about evil stepmothers.

Even Kyoya had pitched in by drying the dishes Kaoru washed. With his sleeves rolled up and he was up to his elbows in soapy water washing plates, Kaoru was quite a sight. Glancing at Kyoya, who was currently rubbing a large platter dry, he asked timidly, "Kyoya-sempai, how did the Host Club get permission to skip class and help clean up?"

"Hmm? It was easy. You forgot who Tamaki's father is, didn't you?"

"Oh." Staring at the superintendent's son, who was chasing his twin around and splashing soapy water everywhere, he smiled.

Across the room, Haruhi yelled, "Tamaki-sempai! Stop running around! You're dripping water everywhere!" Clutching a dirty rag, she looked quite annoyed. Suddenly, she felt an insistent tug at her jacket sleeve. Looking down, she saw Hani smiling at her. "Haru-chan, they're just having some fun, ne?"

Haruhi protested weakly, "But, Hani-sempai, they'll..."

With a knowing grin, Hani shook his head. "Ne, Haru-chan! Help me finish wiping the countertops! Hika-chan and Kao-chan made a big mess!"

Giving up, Haruhi continued to scrub at the granite countertops, while Hani energetically sprayed the hardening lumps of cookie batter with a cleaning solution.

* * *

Pretty soon, the room was sparkling-clean; however, the Hosts weren't. Tired and short-tempered, they were also soggy to boot due to Tamaki slipping and splashing dirty water all over them. Wiping off his glasses, Kyoya glared at Tamaki and muttered something that sounded like "idiot." Kyoya's glasses usually filtered most of the evil out of his glare, but once they were off, the true intensity shot through Tamaki like a dozen daggers, making him cringe. Looking at Haruhi, he realized she was also scowling at him, annoyed. Yuki sighed, brushing his wet bangs back, knowing the Host Club wasn't in the best of moods right now. Suddenly he brightened as he remembered something important. Sliding off his chair, he pulled out a pair of oven mitts from a drawer and slipped them on. Curious, The Host Club watched as he strode over to an oven and opened it, letting out a rush of hot air and a warm aroma.

Haruhi blinked. "Ah. The cookies! I forgot." Turning off the oven and pulling out the tray of cookies, Yuki peeled the soft pastries off the tray and onto a platter. Dropping the tray into the sink and the oven mitts back into the drawer, Yuki brought the plate over and placed it on the table.

"Yay! It's Haru-chan and Yu-chan's homemade cookies!" squealed Hani, picking one up. All the Hosts followed his example and bit into a warm cookie.

Kyoya said, "Yuki-kun, I didn't know you cooked."

Yuki shook his head. "I only read the recipe. Haruhi-san did all of the work."

Haruhi denied it, saying, "Yuki-kun helped a lot also."

Startled, Yuki realized Haruhi had become less formal with him; instead of "san," she was now calling him "kun." That had to be a sign of progress, right?

As Yuki took another nibble at his cookie, he felt a happy, warm feeling bubble up inside him. Tamaki, who was apparently forgiven, was talking animatedly with the others, about what, Yuki did not know. Time seemed to stop in this one perfect moment, blocking out sound, letting him revel in the comfortable feeling of friendship over a plate of cookies.

* * *

**_A/N: Yay! I'm done with this chapter! happy happy. This chappie was a little bit more light-hearted than the last one, since I realized that all of my previous chapters had Yuki only interacting with the Host Club instead of also writing about his Ouran classes experience! :D Once I had that enlightening thought, I produced this chapter! _**

**_About Shigure's "penname"-- He did write the book Heart Pounding (the dark green one in the anime? The one he showed Uo and Hana right after the smut book he wrote "just for fun"?), but the penname part I just made up. I had to use Kyou to write Yoku, since how I spell Kyo can only make Yok. :P _**

**_The twins "modifying" the recipe seemed like something they would do, and the rest of the chapter suddenly just...appeared! All in all, very fun chappie._**

**_Woot! More than 100 reviews! This is my most popular story yet! Thank you all so much! _**

**_Please drop a review on the way out! :)_**

**_ja ne!_**

**_mimi-chan  
xxfirebubblesxx_**


	10. The Need for Revenge

Disclaimer- nope. :P

**Chapter 10: The Need for Revenge**

After they finished the cookies, Kyoya mentioned that there was one more class left before club time started. "We still have to pick up our things from our classrooms," reminded Haruhi, staring at the clock nervously. "Where is Rena-sensei?"

Suddenly, said teacher breezed into the clean room, free of any sticky brown batter. Looking around the room, an expression of absolute amazement spread across her face. "Hikaru, Kaoru, you guys did a wonderful--eh? Who are your friends?"

Flinching slightly at her tone, the twins replied, "They came to help us clean up."

Bowing slightly and staring deep into her eyes, Tamaki murmured, "I sincerely hope that us helping our friends in their time of need doesn't bother you, honorable sensei."

Flushing slightly at the handsome student standing before her, the helpless Rena-sensei could only shake her head furiously and babble that it was absolutely no problem at all. Beaming radiantly, Tamaki thanked her and swept out of the room, the rest of the Host Club in tow, leaving behind one breathless teacher.

As Yuki trailed after Tamaki, who was chattering animatedly to Kyoya, he couldn't help but grudgingly admire him in a way not unlike how he saw Ayame. Tamaki had such a clear sense of who he was and was comfortable in his skin inside and out--his resplendent personality constantly dazzled people, while he would also use his looks as an advantage, luring them in further. The way he handled that teacher was quite effective. Yuki had always rejected any kind of personal relationship with unrelated girls (save for one Tohru Honda), but Tamaki had unwittingly showed him it was all right to flirt lightly. Yuki mulled this over as they continued to walk down the East Wing, saying good-bye to their upperclassmen. He could use his good looks to his advantage, right? Hadn't Kyoya mentioned that his customers were somewhat unsatisfied with the lack of physical contact? The twins had said, "A light bump of the shoulders here, a soft brush of hands there, and voila! One satisfied customer who'll become a regular designator."

But...what if one of them got carried away and hugged him? He knew that the Ouran girls were supposed to be refined ladies, dainty and unforward. Unfortunately, it would only take one obsessed, hormone-driven, boy-crazy girl to ruin his carefully constructed relationships here at Ouran.

Driving all worrisome thoughts out of his mind, he waved good-bye to Haruhi and the twins, heading towards the direction of the boys' locker room. He was required to take Physical Education by Akito since it was one less course to worry about bumping into girls: it wasn't co-ed.

A few minutes after Yuki wandered down another hallway, Haruhi also said her farewells to the twins and walked to her math classroom to grab the materials she had left behind. Hikaru and Kaoru continued walking, finally alone to discuss the problem that had been bothering them for a while.

Hikaru snapped, "Who does she think she is, picking on Haruhi like that?"

Kaoru agreed, protesting, "Even though she's the daughter of the CEO of Hirota Tech, insulting people is way too much!"

Both of them fumed silently for a moment, remembering Kaede's treatment of their poor, innocent Haruhi. Suddenly, a wide smirk inched across Hikaru's face, and he turned to Kaoru, who had apparently thought of the idea at the same time.

"Kaoru, how would you like to play a game?"

"I would love to, Hikaru," he grinned, feigning ignorance. "But what game shall we play?"

"How does a lightning round of 'Who-can-find-Kaede-Hirota's-weakpoint-first' sound?"

"Sounds like a plan."

Then all could be heard was the quiet, malicious laughter of the twins, echoing through the empty halls as they strode to Class 1-A.

* * *

Kaede giggled as she slowly traced the contours of Yuki's cheek, blushing slightly. Actually, it wasn't the _real_ Yuki, but if everything went according to plan, it would be soon. Right now, she had to be satisfied with a drawing of him, which cost her almost 600,000 yen, a mere chunk of her vast allowance. After being the highest bidder, Kaede had it laminated and kept it with her at all times, only taking it out when she was alone. Right now, she was the only person lingering in the deserted classroom. Her classmates had left five minutes ago, and even the sensei had to go to a dentist appointment, telling her to lock the door when she left.

Giggling softly, Kaede blew a kiss to the drawing, but whipped around quickly when she heard a smattering of giggles. After recognizing the intruders, she shot an icy glare at them; however, it had no effect due to the twins being exposed to much worse before. (They had tried to wake Kyoya up at six in the morning once. They never did it again.)

"Hikaru-san, Kaoru-san. What are you doing here?" she asked, feeling her scowling face heating up with the intensity of her blush. That fact didn't go under their observant eyes, and they slowly prowled towards her, grinning ferally.

"We came here to get our stuff, of course," they replied at the same time. Kaede always felt slightly freaked out when they did that; it seemed like they could communicate on a wordless wavelength.

Trying to force a smile on her unnaturally stiff face, she spat out, "Oh really?"

They continued, as if they hadn't been interrupted. "Imagine our surprise when we saw you molesting our picture."

Kaede's skin had just returned to its pale hue before the twins said that. When they smirked at her, she felt the blood rush up to her cheeks again.

"S-shut up! So what if I like him? That's none of your business!" she snapped defensively, placing the drawing back into her folder. She didn't like the amused glances Hikaru and Kaoru exchanged, as if they were saying, _That was too easy._

"There's nothing wrong with that," said Kaoru smoothly. "But..."

"...you have to confess soon," Hikaru finished flawlessly.

"Time's running out," they proclaimed simultaneously.

_See! They did it again! That's so weird, _complained Kaede mentally. Despite her mind yelling at her not to, she asked anyway. "What do you mean?"

They grinned silently at each other. "Figure it out."

Before she could complain, they leaned towards her, golden eyes shining. "But we'll give you a hint." They were so close, Kaede could reach out and brush her fingers through their vivid hair, gelled to a casually disarrayed perfection. "Let's just say you're not the girl Yuki-kun's thinking about," they chortled. The sound startled her, and she fell backwards, landing in an ungraceful heap on the marble floor. Their laughter mocked her as they grabbed their bookbags and prepared to leave.

At the doorway, the twins paused and turned around. "By the way, you weren't very nice to Haruhi today."

She snarled at them, and they exited, their taunting chuckles still ringing in her ears. Cupping her face in her hands, she groaned. They were just messing with her mind...but what did they mean when they said she wasn't the girl Yuki-kun was thinking about? Did that mean there was another girl? Kaede jumped up, fists clenched. Impossible. There wasn't anyone more intelligent, elegant, classier, or wealthier than she.

_But..._

A small prickle of insecurity and fear settled in the pit of her stomach. _Humph. This certainly won't do, _she thought, flipping her silky black hair over her shoulder. She was Kaede Hirota, dammit! No man alive would refuse her.

But...Yuki was different. She could tell. Instead of drooling over her beauty and brains, he kept a polite distance from Kaede, barely acknowledging her at all. He had such a royal and effeminate aura surrounding him that he would indirectly cause her to feel insecure, not an easy task to do.

Suddenly, the deserted classroom seemed much too quiet. She grabbed all her materials, stuffed them into her bookbag, and then ran to her next class, the gears in her head whirring furiously.

Kaede Hirota doesn't spy on anybody. Kaede has people. And Kaede's people spy for her.

Her pouty lips curved upwards into a small, victorious smile. She could already imaging hugging her handsome boyfriend Yuki while the faceless witch who had previously captured his heart sobbed pitifully.

_This is going to be too easy._

* * *

After Hikaru and Kaoru had strolled away, they had burst into raucous laughter, clutching their sides.

"Did you see her face?" gasped Kaoru between giggles.

"Yeah! And she fell backwards too!" exploded Hikaru.

As soon as they calmed down, Hikaru wiped away a stray tear from his topaz eyes. "But are you sure Yuki-kun would refuse Hirota's confession?"

Nodding meditatively, Kaoru assured him that their elaborate game would work. "Positive. Have I ever been wrong? Yuki-kun already has his special someone."

Rolling his eyes, Hikaru snorted, "Yes. More that once, if I recall correctly. Besides, his "special someone" doesn't even realize it."

"Don't worry. She won't need to. Ah, we're really late now, right Hikaru?"

"Uh-oh. You're right!"

As the twins thundered down the hall, intent on not getting into more trouble, Kaoru turned to Hikaru and smirked.

"I always am."

* * *

Readjusting the strap on her leather bookbag, Haruhi paused in the middle of one of the many open hallways of Ouran. She was walking on the outskirts of the East Wing. There was an awning over her head, supported by marble pillars. _How wasteful. Rich bastards, _muttered Haruhi in her mind.

Staring out towards the track, she spotted the boys PE class having a relay race. Squinting, she could make out someone at least six yards in front of the others, seeming to fly effortlessly with a metal baton clutched tightly in his fist. The familiar silver hair that fluttered in the wind, along with his team shouting, "Go, Sohma!" identified him as her fellow host. Forgetting to continue to the Third Music Room, Haruhi stood still and watched as he smoothly passed the finish line first and was mobbed by his relay team members. She marveled over the fact that he didn't even look fatigued. _Is there anything that Yuki Sohma can't perfect? _wondered Haruhi, staring absently at the composed teen. _Besides cooking, that is, _she winced, recalling his tale about burning the soup. It vexed Haruhi that she still couldn't figure out how he did that! It should be impossible, right? However, as she watched as he graciously accepted the congratulations and jogged to the locker rooms, she had a funny feeling that nothing was impossible when the Sohmas were involved.

Suddenly, as if he had sensed the intensity of her gaze from fifty yards away, Yuki turned and stared at a flustered Haruhi. Modifying his startled look to a mildly softer one, he waved and signaled he would be out soon, then ran towards his destination. After waiting for five minutes, the crossdresser spied Yuki, who had exchanged the navy blue sweatsuit for the regular uniform.

"Good afternoon, Haruhi-san."

"Ah, hello. Are you okay? It's really cold, and your lungs..."

He chuckled, "Don't worry, I can take care of myself."

Looking unconvinced, she said, "All right. We should hurry. The Third Music Room is on the other side of campus."

Nodding, the rat quickened his pace, glancing over his shoulder to see if Haruhi was keeping up. The two of them raced into the building and up three flights of stairs, before reaching the Host Club's room. Flinging the door open, Yuki was startled to discover an unwelcome visitor seated at a table, sipping tea and conversing amiably with the others. Upon hearing the two late hosts enter, Ayame turned, beaming when he saw them.

"Yuki!" the snake cried as he stood up in a flurry of silk and silver hair.

"What are you wearing?" snapped the rat, staring in a horrid fascination at the monstrosity that nobody else but Ayame would create and wear.

Smoothing the fine material delicately, he laughed. "Silly Yuki, I'm modeling one of your cosplay ideas!" The outfit had dragons floating on a jade green background, and swished with every step Ayame took. Gold lining was embroidered on the cuffs and hem, while a fancy hat balanced precariously on his head.

"Don? t you love it?" asked Ayame, twirling a little. "It's my rendition of the Jade Emperor's outfit!"

"It's very exquisite," praised Kyoya, smiling with the open-for-business grin he usually reserved for Ranka. Turning to Haruhi and Yuki, he noted, "You're late."

"Nonsense, Okaasan! They're just in time to see Ayame-san's creative ideas," exclaimed Tamaki, who was wriggling excitedly on the couch.

"Yes! See, I racked my pretty little brain for the most glorious ideas ever when Kyoya-kun gave me free rein," babbled Ayame as he pulled a sketchbook from his canvas portfolio bag. Before he could show the Host Club his masterpieces, Yuki snatched it from his hands, ignoring his whining. He had a sneaking suspicion that Kyoya giving Aya creative freedom wasn't the smartest thing to do...

The Host Club watched curiously as Yuki's eyes widened and every drop of blood drained from his face. "Absolutely not. What were you thinking?!"

Pouting, Ayame replied, "You don't like it? But Kyoya-kun would look so cute in a frilly little--"

The twins' cheeks expanded and turned red, desperately trying to contain their laughter as they glimpsed at Kyoya's stony expression. Haruhi took a cautionary step back while Hani hid behind a frozen Mori. However, their idiotic leader's ears had perked up and was straining to sneak a peek at the mysterious cosplay idea.

Sensing that another one of his rants was coming on, Yuki interrupted by flipping to the next page. "What's this?"

Bouncing over to his petrified brother, Ayame chirped, "Don't you think that shade of blue makes Tamaki-kun's eyes pop?"

"I wanna see!" exclaimed said king, jumping over energetically, but was rejected when Yuki moved away, still staring.

"Later, Tamaki-kun! I shall let all of you see my wonderful masterpieces!" crowed Aya, whipping out a silk fan and fanning himself. Haruhi could just see his already over-inflated ego swell to massive proportions.

"Not if I have anything to say about it," mumbled Yuki, viciously tearing out a page amidst the tailor's wailing.

Thus, this procedure went on for five more minutes: Flip page. Stare at page. Flip out. Repeat. Finally, the rat grudgingly handed back a drastically thinner sketchbook to a tearful Ayame, who grabbed it and mourned over the loss of his "unrealized talent."

Trying to reassure the traumatized man, Kyoya said, "If you don't mind, Ayame-san, I'm sure that you're ideas are still original even after Yuki-kun ah...edited it."

Sniffing woefully, Ayame nodded. "You're absolutely right, Kyoya-kun. I shall be brave and expose my artistic soul!" With that dramatic remark, Ayame's golden eyes gleamed as he finally opened his sketchbook with a flourish. "TA-DA!"

The Host Club gathered around as Ayame started to explain the pros (As he had indignantly exclaimed, "There aren't any cons with my works of art!") of his traditional Chinese clothes, that "would be made from the finest Chinese silk!" Fingering the small sample of silk glued onto the page, Kyoya nodded approvingly. "Very nice. This gold silk was from Chinese silkworms if I'm not mistaken."

"Indeed! See, I designed variations of outfits that would suit each of you. For the dear Haruhi-kun, a glorious chipao that emphasizes the feminine beauty of a fragile flower with the straight, long skirt and close fit--"

"Wait!" yelped Tamaki. "F-feminine beauty? Fragile flower? You're describing a girl!"

The twins nodded frantically, adding, "Haruhi here is all man!" while Hani chirped "Super manly!" in the background.

Giving them a scornful glance, Ayame said, quite disdainfully, "I know a fair maiden when I see one, thank you very much. For I, Aya the Magnificent, have been the receiver of numerous confessions, sexual desir--" Here his rant was abruptly ended by a swift blow from a flying teddy bear.

"KUMA-CHAN!" shrieked Tamaki, running over and scooping up his beloved stuffed animal.

"Oww...Yuuuuuki, that hurt!"

Sighing, Yuki advised his annoying elder brother to "wrap it up before something **bad** happens to a certain annoyance around here." Emphasis on bad.

Thick as he was, Aya was able to perceive the warning as a threat, so he hurriedly flipped to the next page: angels. There was a sketch of each of the Host Club members wearing a different white outfit and large wings. While Kyoya fingered the string of freshwater pearls that would be sewn on the hems with an approvingly eye, Ayame elaborated on his idea. "Everyday Angels!" proclaimed Ayame with a flourish. "See? Mori-kun will be the Guardian Angel; Hani-kun, Cupid; Hikaru and Kaoru can be Angels of Laughter and Joy; Tamaki-kun, an Unity Angel; Kyoya-kun, Insight Angel; Haruhi-kun, Clarity Angel; and my beloved baby brother shall be an Angel of Acceptance!" After rattling off that long list, Aya hardly seemed fazed.

"But Aya-san," chirped Hani, "These look like regular clothes, only white!"

He emitted a somewhat secretive-sounding giggle. "That's the genius of it all! Miracles hide within our everyday existence; you just have to know where to look!"

Disbelieving, Haruhi said, "Do you still believe in magic, Ayame-san?"

As his enigmatic golden eyes fell on her, he flashed a mysterious, Yuki-esque smile at her. "Not the kind of 'magic' you're thinking about, Haruhi-kun. Something darker..."

When Hikaru pushed him for further information, he just laughed airily and waved him away, to Yuki's relief. If that idiot had continued blabbering on, he would've had to throw something a little heavier than Kuma-chan. _Say, the coffee table..._

"For the last cosplay idea, it was also inspired by our Oriental cousins!" Turning to the last page, he showed them the Host Club dressed in traditional Indian costume. "Yuki and Haruhi-kun will be wearing saris made of the finest silk and cotton!"

"What?!" the two of the mentioned hosts exclaimed, but their voices were lost among the chorus of cheers that greeted Aya's bold statement.

"Hair extentions?" asked Tamaki gleefully.

"Naturally!" laughed Ayame, brushing back his silvery-white strands as if saying, _Haha! I don't need any!_

"No way," deadpanned Haruhi, while Yuki gave him an icy glare that clearly shouted, _"Get out before I really hit you in front of all these people."_

"So," grinned Aya gleefully, "Which cosplay idea will it be?"

* * *

**_A/N: Yay! Thanks for reading chapter 10! Double digit chapters from now on: woot! _**

**_I know I took forever and a day to update (had finals and everything...YEAH! Summer's here!! --end mini-rant--), so I'm doing something I never did before! _**

**_ReADeR's PoLL!_**

**_Yay! So, here is Mori-sempai to tell us all about zee poll! (I don't think he talked at all in this chapter...sorry!) _**

**_Mori: "...Hello."_**

**_mimi-chan: "Mori-sempai, please tell the nice readers about my ReADeR's PoLL!"_**

**_Mori: "...Ah. There is a poll going on--"_**

**_mimi-chan: "Umm...Mori-sempai, don't call it 'a poll,' call it 'mimi-chan's ReADeR's PoLL!' With spirit!"_**

**_Mori: "..."_**

**_mimi-chan: "Ah! Sorry for interrupting! Please continue."_**

**_Mori: "Un. Vote for your favorite cosplay idea."_**

**_mimi-chan: "Right! Three choices: 1. Tradional Chinese, 2. Everyday Angels, and 3. Traditional Indian. Thank you!"_**

**_-This ad was sponsered by Ayame: The place where male fantasies come true! Tune in whenever this lazy authoress decides to write chapter 11!-_**

**_

* * *

_****_ja ne!_**

**_mimi-chan_**


	11. The Idiotic Invading Intruders

**Chapter 11: The Idiotic Invading Intruders**

**6:30**

_Tick._

_Tick.  
__  
Tick.  
_  
Maid A smiled, content with dusting the main parlor while listening to the steady staccato of the grandfather clock ticking away. She was new to the job, but after a week she was used to the stately grandeur of the Second Suou mansion. She closed her eyes for a moment, allowing herself to soak in the serenity of an early Saturday morning. Maid A's peaceful trance was broken by a sharp rap to her forehead. Jolting back to reality, she noticed a frazzled looking woman in the same maid uniform as her. "Good morning, Maid B-san," said Maid A, wondering if she wanted her to wash the windows again. The older woman scowled at her. "Were you daydreaming again?"

Before she could reply, Maid B-san began promptly listing all of her mistakes, starting from Day 1. She finally concluded her lecture by mentioning that the young master was awake and was demanding a limo, 7 genuine safari hats "that real jungle explorers wear," and a machete.

"While the Young Master is changing and eating his breakfast, you will go find these items. I have already alerted the limo driver, so you can thank me later."  
"But where am I going to--"

"Don't you understand? This is your chance to redeem yourself! Now go!" Poor Maid A scurried off, thinking that even though Tamaki was ridiculously handsome, there must be a few screws in his head not screwed in tight enough. As if someone up above was agreeing with her, there came a loud thud, then a muffled shout of, "I'm okay!" Rolling her eyes, Maid A double-timed it to the phone to make a few calls.

Tamaki all but flew down the stairs to the dining room, too excited to think about anything else beside his brilliant plan. Now that he had Yuki's home address (courtesy of Kyoya), nothing could prevent the Host Club from visiting! And what better time to visit than such a fine Saturday morning? He would get to see his cute daughter in something other than Ouran's boys' uniform! Tamaki's Inner-mind theater went haywire, picturing Haruhi in almost every type of outfit his fertile imagination could think of, leaving him frozen with a starry look in his bright eyes. Snapped out of his self-induced trance by a maid informing him that the limo was ready, he ran outside, deaf to the cries of, "Master! Your breakfast!"

**6:43**

After an hour of kendo practice and a quick shower, Mori was ready for breakfast. He was just sitting down when Tamaki stormed in, babbling excitedly about some "fantastic plan!"

"Suou-sama is here, Young Master," said the main housekeeper, a tad unnecessarily.

"Ah." Roughly translated, it meant, "I noticed. Good morning, Tamaki. What are you doing here?" But since he was a man of little words, one syllable would have to suffice. Besides, his kouhai talked enough for the two of them. Hmm...he probably should pay attention to what Tamaki was ranting about.

"...just brilliant?" The Host Club King was looking expectantly at him, so Mori answered with his usual monosyllabic "un" that answered almost any question.

Beaming brightly, the energetic blond left as abruptly as he came, pulling on the slightly bewildered teen, who barely had time to grab a riceball before being ushered into Tamaki's limo.

"Will we be picking up the rest of the Host Club? What about Mitsukuni?" was what Mori wanted to ask; however, he was not one to waste words, so he selected the most important one: "Mitsukuni?"

Bouncing on his seat like an excited child, Tamaki said, "Of course! We're picking up the whole Host Club. Driver, to the Haninozuka estate!"

While the driver was slowly backing out of the spacious driveway, the King of the Host Club pulled out a safari hat and threw it to Mori, then plopped another one on his own pretty little head.

"These are the special safari hats that genuine explorers wear! I had them specially ordered this morning, but I couldn't get a machete, so a hiking stick will have to do."

After examining the crude stitching and coarse material, the observant teen flipped the hat inside out.

_Product of __Toys R' Us;__ Made in China,_ the tag read.

So much for special safari hats...

**6:50**

"I am not drinking that crap," Kyo stated flatly.

"I'm sorry Kyo-kun, but all the books say it's the best thing for a cold," said Tohru, pushing the bowl of putrid, foul-smelling, green liquid…_stuff_ next to his face. The orange cat's nose wrinkled, thanking the gods that at least his nose was stuffy. Then he remembered his current predicament and decided to take his gratitude back.

"Besides," Tohru continued sensibly, "You have to regain your strength so you can transform back."

Poking his head out from his study, Shigure whined, "Tohru-kun woke up very early and used all of her love and compassion to cook that leek soup for you, Kyo. My precious flower, if that scoundrel won't drink it, I will! If he suffers a little more, maybe he'll learn to wear a jacket when he's running in the frosty mornings. And maybe he won't collapse and transform on the porch."

"Shaddup!" snarled Kyo, baring his teeth at the snickering author.

Even though Kyo already refused three times, Tohru valiantly tried again. "Ano, Kyo-kun, are you sure you don't want—"

"I'm positively, absolutely, 100 percent sure that I don't want any of that crap!" was what Kyo was trying to say; however, due to his stuffy nose, it came out more like this: "I'm pozuhitivlee, abhzolutlee, un hundred perrsent surr zat I dun wantuh anyee off zat krap!"

"Try hand-feeding him with a spoon and a smile, Tohru-kun," suggested Shigure, enjoying the blush that stained her ears and the back of her neck. He was sure if he could see past the orange fur, Kyo would also be blushing.

"W-wat zuh 'ell?!" snapped the cat. "I'll 'rink it by myselfuh!"

Tohru beamed as Kyo grudgingly started lapping at the soup, grimacing once in a while. "Kyo-kun, after this, do you want to go to your room or stay out here?"

Kyo was going to say, "Go to my room and sleep until dinner, of course," then he realized that he didn't trust his wobbly paws to carry him upstairs. If he fell, Shigure would laugh until he pissed his pants and Tohru would see him fail! Worse, she would probably wrap her soft, warm arms around his frail body and _carry_ him upstairs. And since the universe has a twisted sense of humor, the damn rat would probably wake up and see him at the exact moment when…oh, the horror! The humiliation! He would rather stay out here and make sure Tohru didn't try to cook another bowl of leek soup.

"Stay down 'ere."

She nodded with a look like she understood everything. "Yes. It's such nice weather today. It'll be a shame if you're cooped up in your room all day. Ah, I should get you a blanket! I'll be right back!"

As she hurried away, Shigure sighed as he watched her run upstairs. "Only a fool would pass up a chance to have such a beautiful flower hand-feed him or carry him upstairs and tuck him to bed." With a meaningful glance at the cat, he retreated back to his study. Finishing the last bit of soup, Kyo glowered at the bitter aftertaste. Then…

"HEY! Damn dog, you calling me a fool?!"

**7:00**

"Yay! Cake!" squealed Hani cutely, digging into his "breakfast." Chika, his younger brother, suppressed a shudder as Hani started to chomp his way through the four-tiered wedding cake. He had woken up at 5:30 and was training in the dojo while his elder brother was lazing around in bed and gorging himself on deserts with a calorie count higher than his birth year.

Speaking of the slugabed…Chika sweatdropped when he saw Hani offering a bite to his stuffed rabbit. _Is he for real?_

Seeing Chika stare at him disbelievingly, Hani clarified, "Usa-chan likes chocolate cake better."

Suddenly, the cream-colored double doors swung open and in tromped two teens—their cousin and the blond idiot, Tamaki Suou.

"Takashi! Tama-chan!" cheered the loli-shota, jumping up and attaching himself around Mori's waist. "Why are you guys here?"

"Good morning, Hani-sempai!" trilled the self-proclaimed king. "We're going on a little visit today."

"Yay! Where's Hika-chan and Kao-chan and Haru-chan and Kyo-chan and Yu-chan?"

"We're going to pick them up and visit Yuki today!" burbled Tamaki, thrilled at the chance to explain his brilliant plan.

"Wahh! Let's go!"

Hopping off the mahogany chair, Hani ran after them, his plush rabbit on his shoulders, and stuck his arms out like the wings of an airplane.

That was a first. His elder brother had abandoned his cake in favor of his friends. Turning back to the table, Chika gasped when he saw a large platter, with only a few crumbs to indicate there used to be a cake. Spinning quickly to face the door again, he caught sight of their retreating backs. Just before the portal swung closed, he could glimpse that pink rabbit looking over its velveteen shoulder and…smirking at him?!

"AAAHHH!"

**7:18**

"Ohayo, Tono, Mori-sempai, Hani-sempai!" chimed Hikaru and Kaoru, climbing into the back of the limo. Kaoru was clutching a paper bag: offerings to Shigure, the master of the house, when they went to intrude. Somehow, only the twins had known about this event beforehand and prepared accordingly.

"Eh? Where's Haruhi and Kyoya-sempai?"

"We're going to pick up my precious daughter right now, you devilish twins! Here, put these on."

As Mori passed them the giant plastic bag, they reached in gingerly and pulled out one safari hat each.

"What are these? They're so ugly!" chorused the twins.

"Look at the stitching!"

"And the material! It's so…what's the word, Kaoru?"

"Unsophisticated?"

"Exactly. Did you buy this from a third world country, Tono?"

"Unscrupulous ingrates! I'll have you know I had to express-order them in from a faraway, exotic country this morning!"

Flipping the hat inside out, Kaoru made the same discovery Mori had earlier. After pointing it out to his brother, their cheeks turn red and expanded in a desperate attempt to keep their wild laughter in.

It was futile.

"BWAHAHAHAHA!" screeched the twins, tears of mirth spurting from their eyes. "'Faraway, exotic country?' More like a commoners' toy store!"

"What?"

"Eeh? Tama-chan, they're right!" exclaimed Hani, who had pulled off his own hat and was checking the tag inside.

Throwing the hat to their lord's face, another round of laughter erupted when they saw his expression.

"T-this…this is…"

"Devastating? Dreadful? Terrible?" offered the twins between bouts of snickers.

"No. This is…WONDERFUL!"

Their laughter stopped immediately, like someone turned the faucet off.

"Eh?"

"This hat," Tamaki continued, looking at the crumpled piece of cheap camouflage material reverently, "Is a genuine part of the commoner's lifestyle. How many of us, the wealthy, have seen it before? We must wear it with pride!"

With that dramatic conclusion, he plopped the sun-hat back on Kaoru's spiky head of hair.

That stupid speech did it. The fountain of laughter opened again, this time on full force.

As the limo slowly pulled away from the curb, the twins' shrieks could still be heard from inside the house. Upstairs, their mother Yuzuha Hitachiin smiled ruefully. It had been so long since she heard that sound and even longer since she had been the reason for her boys' laughter. She was always so busy, flying to some fashion show or another and designing for arrogant celebrities, that she never had any time to spend with them anymore.

A sharp twinge of regret pierced her heart, and suddenly, she felt very, very old.

**7:37**

Under a soft downy blanket, basking in the meager rays of the winter sun, Kyo felt more or less content, even if he was currently stuck in his Jyuunishi form.

His stomach growled in protest, still disgruntled over that leek soup. But he did have to grudgingly admit his nose was clearing up and his vertigo had gone away. Tohru had wanted to give him Tylenol, but couldn't figure out the correct amount to give him. Kyo had a little internal chuckle when he remembered her confusion after reading the dosage instructions. Should she give him the amount that he would have taken in his regular body, or was that too dangerous? He only weighed about 5 pounds, but that was the equivalent of a less-than-two year old baby, and she was supposed to contact her physician for information. After reading that sentence, she brightened and went to call Hatori, who told her it was best not to give Kyo any medicine at all until he regained the energy to transform back. Currently, if too much Tylenol entered his bloodstream, he would probably be poisoned. Who knew what cats were allergic to?

After hearing that, Tohru exploded with apologies: how she almost killed Kyo, how she wasted "Hatori-san's valuable time," how she left Shigure hungry because she was caring for Kyo, who she almost poisoned, and how she hadn't even woken Yuki yet. Finally, Shigure gently pried the phone from the frantic girl's deathgrip and said a cheery farewell to the family doctor before hanging up. Then he smoothly escorted Tohru to the kitchen and asked her to reheat the pot of leek soup for their breakfast. She calmed down and started working, focused on completing her task. Kyo stared, glassy-eyed, at the grinning dog, who just meandered back to his room.

_Whadda know? The mutt's good for something after all._

Lifting his head to the gray sky, he took an experimental breath through his mouth. Whiskers twitching, he detected the taste of rain, even with his clogged nasal passages. Strangely, it always reminded him of freshly-cut grass or green apples.

_Great. On top of being sick, I have to deal with the rain too? I'm never going to transform back…_

Then…

_If that damn rat laughs at me, I'll punch his face in._

**7:42**

"Are we there yet?"

Silence greeted Hani's question.

He waited, twisting his childlike lips into an adorable pout.

"…Are we there yet?"

"For the 287th time, NO!" bellowed Hikaru, who was slightly irritated himself.

He jumped, then his cherubic face scrunched up and fat tears welled in his eyes. Silently, Mori draped a strong arm across his cousin's shoulders, letting him bawl into his side.

Kaoru smacked his brother's arm, snapping, "Be nice!" But if one examined his tone and the slight lilt of his lips, one could deduce that shouting like Hikaru was exactly what he wanted to do so badly.

"Tono, next time, pick Haruhi up first, okay?" asked Kaoru, rubbing the bridge of his nose in a failed attempt to ward off a coming migraine. His twin saw through the seemingly innocent gesture and worriedly passed him a can of milk tea from the mini-fridge. Pressing the cold can against his throbbing temples helped, and he gave Hikaru a small smile to reassure him.

Sulking, Tamaki moaned, "How would I know that commoners live so far away?"

Hani, who had stopped crying, pressed a button and the privacy divider between the driver and the passengers slid down.

"Driver-san, are we there yet?"

The elderly driver tore his eyes away from the road for a quick glimpse at who was speaking to him, and then focused on the GPS. "Yes, young master. We are nearly there."

"Yay! Takashi, did you hear that? We're almost at Haru-chan's house!"

"Un."

Staring out the tinted windows, Hikaru blinked as they coasted past a petite brunette, concentrating very hard on a piece of paper clutched in her lithe fingers.

"Hey…Isn't that…? HEY! Stop this car!"

As the limo screeched to a gear-grinding halt, Haruhi looked up, and then almost dropped her grocery list out of shock.

"Tamaki-sempai! What are you guys doing here?" she asked, squinting at the innocently angelic face that appeared when the window rolled down.

"Hello Haruhi!" chorused the twins, elbowing their way to the front.

"Devilish twins! Get off me!"

Hani also squirmed on top of the poor King, resting his chin on Hikaru's ginger hair.

"Haru-chan!"

"Hani-sempai? Is Mori-sempai there too?"

"Yup! Takashi says hi!"

Everyone's favorite crossdresser doubted that her stoic upperclassman actually talked, but went along with it anyway.

"Where's Kyoya-sempai?" _He's the only rational person here I can speak to._

"No time for questions, just get in!"

Before she could figure out what happened, the twins opened the door and sucked her inside the dark, sinister innards of the ridiculously unpractical car.

"Eeh! W-wait!"

A car door slammed shut, then they drove away, leaving a crumpled piece of paper with the words "eggs, rice, and sashimi" floating in the wind.

Glaring at the snickering twins, she snapped, "You made me drop my shopping list!"

Then…

"Eh? Where's Kyoya-sempai and Yuki-kun?"

"We're going to visit Yu-chan's house today!" chirped Hani, bouncing on the leather seats excitedly.

Arching her eyebrow skeptically, she asked, "Does he know you're coming?"

"Weeeell, define 'know.'"

"Tamaki-sempai!"

"It's more fun if it's a surprise!" argued Tamaki.

"Wouldn't it be easier if we all meet at a designated area beforehand?"

Seeing him mulling over her question with a disturbed look, she slumped down between Hikaru and Mori, groaning resignedly.

**7:58**

The creature breathed in the scent of fresh detergent that clung to his silk sheets. _French lavender, _its mind noted absently.

Shrouded in darkness, it was a barely visible lump under the layers of perfumed sheets. The notorious black notebook was resting on its white desk, while its cell phone, wallet, and frameless glasses lay on top of the two bedside tables, also stark white.

It took another deep inhale. Its mind briefly wondered why that blonde idiot—what was his name again?—hadn't disturbed his sleep with annoying phone calls yet.

_Tick tick tick tick. _The small alarm clock, battered so badly that it was a miracle it was still working, was, for lack of a better verb, ticking busily away next to his ear. Grumbling discontentedly, it flopped over to the other side of his king-sized mattress to escape that irritating, repetitive noise. A stray thought floated across its mind: why did clocks tick? Why couldn't they go shloop? But even that would get old after a while. Maybe if the sound changed every 10 seconds…

Suddenly, a mind-numbingly bright light flooded its lair. Growling, it buried his head under the thick pillow. Above it, it could detect half-whispered conversations.

"Are you sure this is safe?" Its mind briefly conjured up a blurry image of a petite girl at the sound of her soft voice.

"Don't worry! He's a total creature of instinct right now, so it's relatively safe." Two voices, decidedly male. For some unknown reason, it gave the creature a migraine just hearing their annoying voices.

"Haru-chan, you never saw Kyo-chan's low blood pressure evil demon lord side, have you?" Cute, cute, fluffy, sugary, cute. Its teeth started to hurt.

Blessed silence for a while. It, no, _Kyoya_ remembered his name and wondered why the light was still on. Then…

"Poke." A small finger jabbed into his side. Retreating even further into the blankets, he grumbled softly.

"Kyo-chan's really tired today! He hasn't sat up and snarled at us yet," reported the blonde sempai, straightening up.

"Great! Then we can do _this_!"

With an exaggerated yell, Tamaki peeled away all three blankets at once.

"Quick! Grab him!" Before the groggy demon lord could reach out and try to reclaim his quilts, around a dozen hands grabbed at his pajamas.

"Wait! What are you doing?" asking Haruhi, craning her neck over the rough semicircle that had formed around Kyoya's bed. Hani had just scampered off and returned with a huge pile of clothes, dumping them into the fray.

Hikaru turned around with a pair of designer jeans clutched in his hands. "You want to help Okaa-san change?" he asked innocently, snapping the pants in her direction. Through the gap that Hikaru had left behind, she could glimpse Tamaki energetically ripping open his semiconscious friend's buttoned top, exposing pale, creamy skin.

With an uncharacteristic "eep," she turned around quickly, face flaming red.

"I thought not," snickered the Hitachiin, turning around again.

Waiting patiently, she could hear grunts, exclamations of pain, and the soft rustling of clothes along with the rest of the Host Club debating which shirt looked better with the wash of the jeans. After five minutes, they were finally done playing "Dress-up Kyoya" and had hoisted him onto Mori's back. As they were turning to leave, she exclaimed, "Wait!" Running to his nightstand, she scooped up his cell phone and wallet. The glasses were already perched haphazardly on the bridge of his nose, thanks to Hani.

"Ah! My precious daughter is so considerate and sweet to her okaa-san!" gushed Tamaki, running forward to hug her. Dodging from his grasping arms, she quickly shoved the items into Kyoya's pockets and speed-walked back to the limo, pursued by a wailing king and two grinning twins.

After they all piled back into the car and carefully leaned their slumbering vice president against the closed car door, Hani exclaimed, "Yay! Everyone's here! Let's go to Yu-chan's house!"

As the driver pulled out of the Ootori's vast estate, Tamaki pulled out a small map and carefully poured over it, nodding occasionally and murmuring, "Mm-hmm."

Curious, she peered over to see what he was studying so intently. On that crumpled piece of paper was what looked like chicken scratches. No, to be more precise, it looked like a blind chicken with ADD, hyped up on caffeine, had tangoed across the page, dragging a blunt pencil behind it. Sweatdropping at that strange image, she wondered how in the world he could actually understand that. Was it some secret code? Then, she noticed a small line of kanji upside down on the page. Grabbing the sheet of paper from his hands, she turned it around so the text was facing the right way, then handed it back to her sheepishly grinning senpai.

"Ehehe…'Map to Yuki Sohma's House,'" he read out loud. "Oh. No wonder Kyoya gave this to me!"

_Kyoya-senpai? _Surprised, she turned to the sleeping teen, head resting on an unmoving Mori's shoulder. If Renge was there, she would have thought she died and gone to her own private otaku heaven, screaming "MOE" all the way. _Did he plan all of this? There's probably a merit for him in all of this. _Satisfied with her own conclusion, she leaned back on the extravagant leather interior. Suddenly, her view was obscured by a dark _something_ landing on her head. Pulling the safari hat off her tousled locks, she stared, puzzled at her senpai's uncharacteristic action. Mori just silently put the now-empty bag away and nodded at her. Smiling softly, she shrugged and put it back on, noticing that everybody else had theirs' on. Despite the twins' earlier protests, the hideous camouflage-patterned sunhats were still being worn, jauntily cocked to cover one eye.

_Join the club._

**8:13**

"I'm going out!" exclaimed Tohru, slipping into her shoes.

"Where is my precious flower going?" questioned Shigure, poking his head out from his study again.

"The last of the leeks have to be harvested before the first snow sets in," she explained, hopping clumsily on one foot, then the other to shove her heels into the sneakers. "Besides, I need them to make Kyo-kun's leek soup."

"I dun kneed zat krap!"

"Language, Kyon-kyon!"

"Dun't kall me zat!"

"I'll be back soon," she called, grabbing a straw basket on her way out the door.

Lightly jumping off the porch, she walked into the woods, following the worn trail that meandered through the trees. The sun trickled through the thick foliage and cast dancing spots of light across her blue jacket. Birds chattered incessantly to each other, along with the barely noticeable _plip-plop_ of morning dew sliding off leaves and hitting the damp ground. The whole world smelled earthy and new, cleansed in last night's drizzle of rain.

Finally reaching the small patch of Yuki's vegetable garden, she noticed, somewhat forlornly, that it was bare, save for a few ripe leeks still stuck in the soil. Bending down, she started to tug at one, determined to harvest all of them before the owner of this secret base woke up. She had been worried about him lately. On top of going to that wealthy school, he had to follow Akito's strange request, stay on top of his schoolwork, report to the main house almost every other day, and help her with her own homework, which she utterly detested. He was already working so hard, no thanks to her. Although she knew he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself, Tohru worried that he might be pushing himself too hard, trying to live up to everyone's demands. Also, she wasn't the only one who missed him terribly at school. Mokoto and the rest of her cronies had finally made the heart-wrenching decision to postpone the activities of the Prince Yuki Fanclub indefinitely. Now, they were mere ghosts of their lively selves, haunting the corridors and scaring the wits out of students unfortunate enough to cross their paths. Kyo had become more popular than ever, with more than half the girls in the school pestering him for answers. _Poor Kyo-kun. No wonder he got sick…the stress must have finally got to him…_

While our heroine was ruminating over the events that the lazy authoress had not written about and decided to shove in here, the stubborn leek she had been pulling on finally gave way, and she fell backwards with a little scream.

Staring up at the bright blue sky, vegetable still clutched in her hand, Tohru laid still for a moment, trying to catch her breath. Suddenly, she heard something that you usually didn't hear on a peaceful Saturday morning in the Sohma woods: voices. In the distance, she thought she heard a faint shriek. A chill crawled up her spine. What if the scary story Hana told about the headless banshee searching for her pumpkin head for all eternity was true?!

Scrambling to her feet, she kept a death-grip on the muddy leek, holding it in front of her like a make-shift, slightly-wilted sword. Inching forward, she peered behind the large trunk of a nearby tree. She could see _things_ moving around in the woods, far away from the little dirt trail. They looked vaguely humanoid, except for the tallest one, who had a strange lump on its back. Even though she was sorely tempted to run away screaming, she stood her ground. One could call Tohru Honda ditzy, naïve, and not that bright, but one could never say she was not brave. Squinting harder, she briefly wondered, _Who are they?_

* * *

"Face it, Tono! We're lost." intoned the twins, tramping after an increasingly desperate-looking blonde.

"W-we aren't lost! I know exactly where we are. We're just…taking the scenic route!"

"Weren't we on a trail just a while ago?" wondered Haruhi out loud, staring at her muddy shoes.

"Takashi, where are we?" whimpered Hani, staring around the "creepy, dark forest."

Mori just shrugged, shifting a sleeping Kyoya, who was on his back again, to a more comfortable position.

"We could have stayed in the limo and drove around 'til we actually found the house, but noooo! Great idiotic explorer Tono wanted us to hop off at the side of the road, convinced that we could find out way there without a compass and a pathetic excuse for a map!"

"Quiet, you unscrupulous twins! We're also enjoying nature!"

Hikaru muttered a very un-genteel word that should never be said in front of a lady when he tripped over his third root in less than five minutes. "They should just clear-cut the whole forest and build something useful," he grumbled, rubbing his sore ankle.

"This place is terrible," agreed Kaoru, pulling out his top-of-the-line cell phone. "There's no reception."

"No path to walk on," added his twin.

"No servants in sight."

"No _house_ in sight."

"No transportation."

"No—"

"QUIET!"

It was silent for a few moments until Haruhi asked, "Shouldn't we wake up Kyoya-senpai? Maybe he can tell us how to get there."

That was a pretty good plan, but nobody was stupid enough to disturb the demon lord from his sleep and face the full brunt of his fury when he discovered they were in the middle of nowhere.

Then, Mori said, "Mitsukuni. Tree."

Hani brightened, and without a word, kicked off his shoes and socks, and bounded up the tallest tree in sight. Less than a minute later, the rest of the Host Club could see their shortest member waving to them fifteen feet up in the air.

"Mori-senpai! Is that safe?" Tamaki asked, squinting at the loli-shota.

"No."

"Eeeh?!"

"To Mitsukuni, however, it is easy."

They breathed a sigh of relief before Haruhi yelled, "Hani-senpai! What do you see?"

"What did you saaay?"

"I said, WHAT DO YOU SEE?"

"OHH!"

Silence for a while as he scanned their surroundings.

"I SEE THE TRAIL!"

Cheers all around. "WHAT ABOUT YUKI-KUN'S HOUSE?"

"I CAN'T SEE ANY HOUS…WAIT! I SEE A WOODEN SHACK OVER THERE!"

"A shack?" she asked, turning to examine Tamaki's map.

"There's no shack on the map," said Tamaki.

"What's that little smudge over there?" she questioned, pointing at a dark blot on the wrinkled piece of paper.

"That's just dirt."

"COME DOWN FROM THERE, HANI-SENPAI!"

They watched in amazement as he swung from limb to limb like a monkey, finally jumping from four feet when there were no more branches. When Hani stepped away, there were two deep footprints in the spongy earth.

"All right! Now that we know where the trail is, we can get back on track!" exclaimed Tamaki, strutting forward, puffed up with self-importance.

"I thought you said you already knew where we were," said Haruhi, the soft snickers of the twins accompanying her innocent question.

"H-haruhi! You're so mean!"

* * *

They were getting closer! She could hear their ringing shouts, echoing through the vast expanse of forest. He breathing became shallower as their terrible alien screams reached her ears. Convinced that she was safe hiding behind her tree, she stiffened when she realized that once they rounded the trunk, they would find her and take her away and do weird experiments on her and turn her into one of them! Her scrambled thought were running around and around, sending unclear messages to her feet. She tripped and fell, unconsciously letting out a little scream. Lying still on the ground, she prayed to any god that cared to listen to save her. Unfortunately, the deities seemed to have ignored her, as she could hear their steps coming her way.

Jumping up and brandishing her crushed leek, she waved it around wildly. "D-don't come any closer!" Brave words, if it weren't for her stutter and eyes clenched shut.

"Tohru-chan?"

Peeking through her thick lashes, she could make out the face of one of Yuki's friends. "F-fujioka-kun?"

"Haruhi is fine."

"Ah! Okay."

Suddenly, strong hands whisked her away, twirling her around and around. "My darling hime! If you have not rescued this brave band of knights, we would have perished in the shadowy, malevolent woods, cut down in the bloom of our youth!"

"E-eh?" She gaped at the handsome blonde teen—Tamaki Suou, she vaguely recalled—who was clasping her hands to his chest.

"We, the heroic, manly band of seven, shall give you anything your sweet heart of innocence desires! Perhaps a glistening sapphire, the hue of your lovely eyes? Or a flock of white doves, as pure and noble as your heart? Or…" his voice dropped a delicious octave, the special one he reserved for hosting. "…a kiss of gratitude, one from each of us?"

"E-EEEH?" Shocked beyond belief, Tohru's face turned 53 different shades of red before nearly falling over.

"Tamaki-senpai!" scolded Haruhi, gently grabbing onto her fellow female's shoulders. The twins had been awaiting the usual "KYAAA" that accompanied an elaborate speech from their lord, but they were surprised when she just seemed flustered and embarrassed, looking awkwardly, painfully shy.

_How…refreshing. Commoner girls really are something else._

"Hn?" He stared at the commoner girl, blushing not because of desire, but from pure mortification. Was he losing his touch? The horror! But didn't she live with Yuki and was constantly surrounded by other hot men? Maybe…maybe he was no match compared to the Sohmas: beauty ran rampant in their blood after all.

…_NOOOOOO! _

Tamaki's brain died.

Hani sighed to himself and shook his head. Had it not occurred to their king that Tohru Honda was just the rare type of girl who was blissfully innocent? Seeing him short-circuiting, he concluded, _Apparently not._

"We'd hate to interrupt, but how do we get out of this place?"asked Kaoru and Hikaru, bringing the focus back to their current position.

"Ah! Are you here to visit Yuki-kun?" questioned Tohru, brushing the dirt off her jacket and picking up the still-empty basket. "He'll be very happy!" Then she noticed the softly snoring lump that Mori was still patiently shouldering. "Eh? Is that Ootori-san?" she asked, peering up to catch a glimpse of the sleeping teen. "He'll catch a cold if we stay out here too long! Everybody, please follow me."

As the Host Club hurried to catch up to the surprisingly surefooted girl, Haruhi wondered why she had been so desperate and genuinely worried over the health of someone she barely knew. _Maybe…_

The leek lay forgotten on the cold ground, destined never to be made into soup.

* * *

"This is it?" gaped the twins, staring at the two-storied Japanese home Tohru had led them to.

"Hani-senpai, wasn't this the shack you were referring to?" asked Tamaki.

The loli-shota was about to answer until something caught his attention. "Wahh…neko-chan!"

On the porch, covered with a quilt and accompanied by a box of tissues, was an orange cat, dozing in the meager sunlight.

"That's Ky—" Suddenly realizing what she was about to say, she froze and dragged out the "y" sound, sweating when she felt the curious stares of the other teens. Finally, she broke it off with a very phony cough and said the first thing her panicky brain, which was having a bit of a meltdown, could think of.

"Stripes! That's his name!"

Everyone stared doubtfully at the cat, which was now wide awake and obviously stripe-less. Even the feline was looking disbelievingly at her, as if saying, _That was the best you could think of? _

She gave a little shrug. _Gomen ne, Kyo-kun. Just try to act catlike, please!_

Disgruntled, he gave a sour-sounding "mrowr."

"Stripes-chan! Kawaii!" giggled Hani, seemingly unbothered by its strange name, squatting down to pet it.

Tohru cast a shy glance at the tall senior, who still hadn't set his kouhai down yet. "If you bring Ootori-san inside, I could get him a blanket," she said hesitantly. Nodding, he obediently followed her, bending over to cross the threshold.

Haruhi couldn't see what the twins were surprised about. It was a nice, large house, quite isolated from the noise of traffic that always seemed to linger around her condo. Roomy enough for four people, yet big enough to accommodate more if needed. In fact, she had a feeling that it often did, with all the gorgeous Sohmas running around.

Entering through the shoji doors, which looked like they had seen better days, she wondered out loud, "Where is everyone else?"

Tohru, who had just returned with a blanket, replied, "Shigure-san's in his study, Yuki-kun is still sleeping, and Kyo-kun is…resting." Only Haruhi noticed her miniscule pause and was about to ask what she meant; however, she kept quiet because something in Tohru's eyes begged her to.

By now, everyone had taken off their shoes and stepped onto the tatami mats. Tamaki had spied the electric kotatsu in the middle of the room and had made a beeline to it, snuggling under the heavy blanket joyfully.

"Haruhi, look! It's a kotatsu!"

"How can Tono get so excited over commoners' things?"

"Commoners?" asked Tohru, tilting her head marginally to the right.

Tamaki plowed on, trying to convince the twins about the incredible innovations of the lower class. "Commoners are really creative. Have you ever tried sitting under one of these?"

With a nonchalant shrug, Hikaru and Kaoru sauntered over and slid under the wonderful warmth. A few moments later, they silently agreed that sometimes, on rare occasions, their childish president could be right.

"Ah, Tohru, this is for you," remembered Kaoru, pulling out the paper bag that they had prepared for their visit. Peeking inside, the delighted girl exclaimed, "Wagashi!"

Arranged in neat concentric circles were cakes expertly prepared in various shapes, sizes, and colors. Some of them bore striking resemblance to small animals such as rabbits and birds; others had been made in the shape of common flowers like roses and violets. "They look delicious! Ah, I'll make some tea to go along with them, ne?"

Placing the wagashi on the table, she hurried off to find the Darjeeling tea leaves, leaving the Host Club alone with an orange cat. Kyoya was now sprawled across the tatami mats, covered with a blanket, courtesy of Tohru.

Suddenly, they heard a shoji door being slid open and soft footsteps padding down the hallway. "Tohru-kun, is that you?" Turning the corner, Shigure saw five curious teens staring up at him, one unconscious demon lord on his floor, and a little boy who could have been Momiji's younger brother petting his disgruntled orange cousin, currently in "cat-mode."

"Who are you people and why are you in my house?"

"Good morning, Shigure-san! Want a wagashi?" asked the twins, offering the box of sweets.

"Ah, You're Yuki's friends from Ouran, right? Welcome to my humble home."

"We're sorry for intruding so suddenly," apologized Tamaki, all charm and grace.

"No problem at all, Tamaki-kun! We're just glad that Yuki-kun joined a club and made friends. By the way, what club are you in?"

The twins started snickering uncontrollably while Haruhi choked on a bite of dessert. Tamaki, oblivious to their reactions, beamed with delight as he talked about his pride and joy, the Host Club he had founded last year, going into explicit detail over their less savory adventures. Sneaking a glance at Shigure's amused expression, the sole female of the group wondered what he was thinking about. Sometimes he could be so hard to read.

"…and then Yuki joined us, and that's where the glorious young Hosts are today!" After concluding his speech, Tamaki beamed happily, staring expectantly at his audience of one.

"That's amazing…"

"Eh?" voiced the rest of the Hosts, confused.

"Ah, if only Hari or Aya thought it up ealier," continued Shigure, reminiscing about days gone by. "Why, when The Mabudachi Trio was in high school, we weren't too unpopular ourselves!" Shigure chuckled as a perverted memory flitted across his mind. "We have some picture albums around here. Now, where did…Ah! Tohru-kun!" he greeted his resident flower, who was carefully balancing cups of fragrant tea on a tray. "Do you remember where the photo album Aya brought last time is?"

After she carefully set down the tray and thanked them for waiting, she replied, "Yes, Shigure-san! I'll go get them. Please excuse me."

Bowing slightly to her guests, she quickly scurried off to fulfill her guardian's request. Tamaki sighed internally as he followed the others' example and took a sip of the delicious tea. _It really is delectable, _he thought, slightly surprised. If only all commoner girls were so respectful and sweet like Tohru. Why couldn't his darling, misbehaved, tomboyish daughter act like this virtuous angel, who was the quintessence of femininity? Suddenly, the first inklings of a plan emerged from nowhere. The corners of his lips quirked upwards as he watched Tohru hurry back, a cute expression on her pretty-plain face as she struggled with the heavy box of old memories.

_Why not?_

* * *

**A/N: hello hello :D**

**Sorry for not updating for...months. been having unhappy times recently. :P**

**my kitty passed away in August and today is the second montha****versary of his journey to the Great Litterbox in the Sky... **

**I got so depressed that my parents wanted me to see a therapist because they were convinced I was turning emo on them. O.o i would disagree, but i noticed all the depressed, dark bits in this chapter...**

**sigh. feeling better recently. adopted another kitty named Kuki (pronounced Cookie). Have been working on this chapter bit by bit for all these months. it turned out longer than I thought: 6997 words!! twice my usual amount! woot. :D**

**well, things are starting to get interesting! thanks to all the readers who reviewed and hopefully will for this chapter. **

**staying strong,**

**mimi-chan**

**PS: the cosplay poll from chapter 10 is still ongoing and the results will probably be announced either in chapter 12 or 13, okay? **

**coolness.**


	12. The Dreaming

**Chapter 12: The Dreaming**

_It was dark._

_Opening his eyes, he discovered he was in a room that looked like one that belonged in the Main House: large, devoid of any furniture, and with shoji doors framing the doorway. _

_Standing up, he realized that his clothing had been replaced with a thick silk kimono that pooled around his scarred ankles. Faded phoenixes soared on the rich red background, reminiscent of his own blood that had stained his yukatas while he was living here. _

_Shuffling to the exit, he tugged on the door and slipped outside easily. After wandering the deserted hallways for a while, he concluded that nobody was home. His clothes were smothering him though, and much too large. When he padded across the cold floors, the hem and sleeves trailed after him, fading embroidery unraveling with every step he took. _

_Pretty soon, he left the sprawling compound and entered the snowy courtyard, unaware of the skeletal house crumbling silently as he reached the heavy gates. _

_Touching the worn wood, he grimaced as he recalled half-forgotten daydreams from his childhood: breaking that barrier of silence, smashing these very portals, and running. _

_Suddenly, he jerked his hand back, surprised at the sudden warmth emanating from the door. Had the spot under his palm just changed temperature?_

_As if heaven itself had responded, he realized that underneath his disintegrating kimono, he was wearing a light button-down shirt, crisp and white. Shedding the last layers of clinging silk, he pushed open the doors, letting the flood of bright sunlight warm his face. _

Yuki Sohma awoke to the sound of laughter.

* * *

"Kawaii!" Hani giggled as he flipped through an old photo album. Currently, the Host Club, Shigure, and Tohru were pouring through the more public past of the Sohmas. Even Kyoya had finally woken up after being prodded a couple of times and was now tiredly nursing a cup of coffee the Sohmas' resident flower had prepared.

"Takashi, lookie lookie!" he exclaimed, pointing excitedly to a series of blurry pictures.

"Ara? I remember those. That's when Momiji borrowed his father's camera for a day," grinned Shigure as he peered at the pictures. In the first one, a smiling dark-haired girl was tugging on the hand of a reluctant boy, obviously Kyo. In the background, there was a blurry silhouette of three children sitting in a patch of colored spots, presumably flowers. In the next photograph, Momiji had zoomed in and captured another heart-warming moment: a six-year-old Haru was giving a scowling, long-haired girl a flower. Leaning on a tree beside them was a sleepy Yuki, clutching a drooping wildflower. He was unmistakably the same person he was today, albeit younger.

"Ne, Gure-san, who's that?"

"Ah, Rin is one of our numerous cousins."

Staring over Hani's shoulder, Tohru exclaimed, "Wahh, Isuzu-san is so cute!"

Something clicked in Kyoya's foggy mind as he registered what she said.

_Isuzu…Rin…Isuzu "Rin" Sohma…_

With a jolt, he realized that he had included that name on his list of the Sohma Investigation.

He leaned over to stare at the photo. Dark scowl, silky hair, and a petite porcelain frame confirmed his suspicions: there was no doubt that she was the same girl as the one from the Ootori online records.

_That must mean…_

Kyoya's internal musings were interrupted by Mori pulling another photo album from the cardboard box.

"What's that, Takashi?"

"Ah, it's the old Mabudachi trio's pictures," said Kaoru, staring at the outlandish cover. Somebody had used gold glitter glue and wrote, "The Fantastical, Brilliant, Engrossing Adventures of THE MABUDACHI TRIO: The Memoirs of Three. By Shigure Sohma, Ayame Sohma, and Hatori Sohma." Litte doodles of snickering dogs, sparkly snakes, and vein-popping seahorses had been scribbled around the title. To top it off, colorful sequins had been generously applied to every visible surface.

"What, no feathers?" asked Hikaru, voice oozing sarcasm.

"Ah! That's because nobody besides Kureno-san—" started Tohru, before abruptly cutting herself off by slapping a hand over her mouth. Everybody noticed the panicked, guilty expression she shot Shigure, who was nonchalantly flipping through the old memories, occasionally stopping to exclaim at some picture.

"Everybody looks so young," commented Haruhi, somewhat unthinkingly.

"Haruhi…" sighed Tamaki, shaking his head despairingly. "My daughter, why can't you act more like the feminine Tohru? Not to mean otousan doesn't love your spitfire nature, but you should view her as your ROLE MODEL, your shining beacon of—"

"It's true," stated the twins, peering over the dog's shoulder and interrupting Tamaki's heated rant. "Ara? What were you doing there?" they queried, pointing at a faded photograph. A young Ayame, who couldn't have been more than nine years old, yet had the same silver tresses he had today, was glomping a wriggling Hatori, while Shigure and an unknown boy were running after a baby, whose face was cut out of the picture.

"Ah…our first attempt at babysitting. We were around nine, Kureno—see that little boy?— must have been a year younger than us, and little Akki-chan was three."

"Akki-chan…Akito-san?" yelped Tohru.

"Hai! Ah, Akito is the head of the house, so I'm sure he'll be looking forward to meeting Yuki's friends soon," smiled Shigure, turning to the Host Club.

Kyo, now nestled in the crook of Hani's arm, narrowed his eyes. _The damn dog had a hidden agenda, as always. Why would Akito be interested about these rich bastards from Ouran High? _

While they were talking, the twins liberated the album and started flipping through it, seeing the Mabudachi trio slowly grow up and graduate from high school.

"Hikaru," Kaoru whispered, nudging his twin's side.

"Hn?"

"Have you noticed that adults don't appear in this album? Not even once?"

"Maybe their parents are like ours. Okaasan and Otousan are always flying off to some country or another."

"Then did they grow up alone?"

"Their parents probably made sure they had adult supervision or something."

"Or something."

Hikaru emitted a vague noise of irritation. "Do you have a better explanation?"

"No, but—"

"Where is Yuki-kun anyways?" asked Tamaki, looking around for their missing classmate.

"He's still sleeping upstairs, Suou-san."

"Great! Let's go," exclaimed Hikaru, jumping up and pulling Kaoru with him.

"Ah, b-but Yuki-kun needs—"

Hikaru barged ahead, cutting the stammering girl off. "Shigure-san, where is his room?"

"Second door on the left. Have fun, children!"

As the twins ran towards the stairs, Haruhi blocked their path, hands on her hips. "Hikaru! Kaoru! Yuki-kun needs his sleep, as Tohru-chan was saying before you so rudely—"

"Ah, Haruhi! You're so cute when you're mad," commented Kaoru, pushing her towards a surprised Tamaki.

"My adorable daughter! Come to otousan!"

"Stop it, Tamaki-sempai!"

"Come on, Stripes-chan!"

"M-mrowr!"

With that, the whole gang bumbled upstairs with the exception of Shigure, Kyoya, and Tohru.

"A-ano, Shigure-san…should we stop them?"

"Hmm?" Looking up from his seat at the kotatsu, Shigure said, "Don't worry, Tohru-kun! Yuki will be overjoyed at seeing his beloved friends at his bedside…ara? Kyoya-kun, not tagging along?"

"They'll come down soon enough," replied the dark-haired teen, taking another long sip of coffee.

"You do know that caffeine stunts growth, ne?"

"Hnn."

* * *

"Second door on the left…here it is!" exclaimed Tamaki, kicking the door open.

"It's dark and scary, Takashi," whimpered Hani, peering around his cousin's broad back. In his arms, Kyo rolled his eyes. _Is he for real?_

Fumbling out into the darkness, Mori located something that felt like a switch, and flicked the light on.

Thankfully, Yuki's room was relatively neat, a testament to Tohru's unwavering persistence.

Haruhi noticed Yuki's room was devoid of any personal touches. Nothing but a small, generic watercolor hung from the stark white walls. But then again, Kyoya's room was pretty much the same, only with a phalanx of maids to keep it tidy.

"Yu-chan?" whispered Hani, poking the prone lump on the bed cautiously.

No response.

Hani poked harder, face scrunched up in concentration.

"Yu-chan. Yu-chaaaaan. Yuchanyuchanyuchan!" By now, his gentle pokes had turned into insistent shoves. Mori finally scooped both him and Kyo up, reminding him to "watch his strength."

"If he really doesn't want to wake up yet, I guess there's nothing to do but wait," said Haruhi, secretly glad for Yuki's immunity to Hani's pokes.

Suddenly, Hani exclaimed in dismay, "Stripes-chan!" The orange cat had stiffened, wriggled free from the senior's grasp, and bolted through the open door. Kyo ran like the wind through the hallway and executed a sharp turn as he reached his bedroom, leaving the bewildered Host Club behind. Clawing open the door, he scampered inside, slamming it behind him with his hind leg. The slam of the door masked the familiar **_POOF _**that accompanied the Jyuunishi transformation.

* * *

"Hurry, Takashi! We have to find Stripes-chan!" As the Host Club turned to leave, they heard the soft rustling of sheets. Turning around in slow motion like in a bad horror movie, they saw their classmate sit up and stare at them with blank eyes. The normally intelligent glint in those deep violet eyes had been dulled to a glassy sheen; furthermore, although he was staring in their general direction, it seemed like he was staring through them rather than at them.

The same thought ran through everybody's mind: _Creepy._

They watched as he kicked off the blankets and slalomed through the small crowd around his bedside, exiting quietly through the ajar door. The Host Club glanced at each other, shrugged, then proceeded to follow him through the hall, down the stairs, and into the living room, where he began to mechanically eat the onigiri Tohru had prepared.

As the rest of the Host Club began filing back in, they noticed a new person was now seated at the table. Her long, sandy brown hair was tied back with a cheerful red bow, just like…

"Renge-kun?" questioned Tamaki, reaching out for her shoulder.

However, when the young lady turned around, they noticed she certainly wasn't their eccentric manager.

"Good morning, Yuki-kun!" Tohru piped up cheerfully.

The only response she got was him sitting down and mechanically eating the onigiri she prepared.

Undiscouraged, she turned to the Host Club, "Ah, everybody, this is Ritsu Sohma. Richan-san, these are Yuki-kun's friends from school!"

"G-good morning, everyone. It's very nice to meet you…"

Her voice was soft, almost a timid whisper.

"Ah, Ritsu, how rare for you to visit us all the way out here," exclaimed Shigure, sniffing delightedly at the treats his cousin now brought instead of books. "What business brings you here?"

"Ah, u-um, Ayame-san asked me to send a message…"

"That's rare. He usually jumps at any chance he gets to visit Yuki and me…unless…I'm being replaced in his heart?! Oh, Aya, the light of my life, how could y—ACK!"

Three slices of daikon radish smacked Shigure's babbling mouth in rapid succession.

"Stupid dog, can't you be quieter in the mornings?" grumbled Yuki, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Ah, Yuki-kun, how cruel," the dog whimpered as he peeled the vegetables from his face.

A pregnant pause. Then…

"GOMEEEEEN NASAAAAAAAI! IT'S DEFINITELY ALL MY FAULT SINCE I CAME AND DISTURBED YOUR MORNING AND RUINED YOUR BREAKFAST AND THE REST OF YOUR DAY AND I DON'T DESERVE TO LIIIIIIVE!"

The Host Club flinched as if they'd been slapped, staring fearfully at the spazzing beauty in front of them, who was currently waving his arms around, bountiful sleeves creating large gusts of wind. Seeing the obvious discomfort of her guest, Tohru had immediately jumped up and proceeded to try to calm the frantic monkey down, reassuring Ritsu that he "didn't ruin their morning, it was a perfectly lovely time for you to visit, and you're never a bother so please don't say that again and of course everybody deserved to live," which sent the poor crossdresser into a larger tizzy, screaming about how he was making such a mess and wasting Tohru's valuable time trying to consol a worthless being such as himself.

Finally, Shigure sighed, put down his teacup, and reached over to give a sound poke to Ritsu's side. The Jyuunishi member froze, then collapsed limply to the ground. Returning to his seat, the dog muttered something about how nobody could ever remember the power of the Poke.

* * *

After half an hour of small talk and the appearance of Kyo, Ritsu left, with repeated invitations to come visit the Sohma family hot springs anytime they wanted.

"Ja ne, Ritsu-san," called Tamaki, waving cheerfully to his departing figure. Turning around to Haruhi, he exclaimed, "Another perfect example of a genteel lady. We really should let you visit Yuki-kun's family more often, he probably has a few more feminine cousins hiding in the family tree…why are you all staring at me like that?"

"Ah, Hikaru, he didn't realize?"

"I guess not, Kaoru. But remember, this is Tono we're talking about."

"What? What didn't I get? Okaasan!"

Kyoya sighed, adjusted his glasses. "Ritsu Sohma, the 'genteel lady' you were referring to, is actually…"

"A strapping young lad, only skinnier and with a tendency to crossdress," interrupted Shigure cheerfully, holding his empty teacup to Tohru for a refill.

"…"

"Tono?"

**Thump.**

"Ah, he's dead."

"Sempai?"

"Leave him be, Haruhi. Hey, want to play Dai Hin Min?"

"Oh, I love that game! Yuki-kun, Kyo-kun, want to play?"

"Why not?"

"Keh! I'm not losing to you, damn rat!"

And so they went, leaving the stunned blonde lying facedown on the floor, crumbling into fine, white powder.

* * *

"Revolution!" cheered Hikaru, showing the two jokers he was dealt.

"A-amazing, Hitachiin-san," gasped Tohru. "Now the order is reversed, ne? So the second-poorest man goes next…ara? It's me? U-um…"

As she was sweating over whether or not she should pass, Hikaru remarked offhandedly, "You know, Tohru-kun, you don't hafta call Kaoru and me 'Hitachiin-san.' It'll get confusing."

"And no 'san' either," added Kaoru, munching contentedly on his new favorite snack, a commoner type of chocolate-covered biscuit/cracker things called Pocky. "You can just use 'kun,' Tohru-kun."

"R-really? Okay then, Hita—ah, Hikaru-kun!" she exclaimed. _Eto…so Hikaru-kun parts his hair to the right, while Kaoru-kun parts his to the left, right? Eh? Or is it the other way around? How does Fujioka-kun tell? Should I also address Yuki-kun's other friends as informally? Why is everybody staring at me? Ah! It's still my turn!_

"Tohru-chan, do you want to pass?" asked Haruhi.

_Whew…_ "Y-yes please! Thank you, Fu—um…H-haruhi-chan!"

Everybody smiled as they realized Tohru had become less formal with them; that had to be a sign of progress, right?

* * *

"Tired," gasped Hani, dropping bonelessly to the grass-covered ground on the front yard of Shigure's house. After playing Dai Hin Min for what seemed like hours (Final scores: Kyoya, Yuki, and Mori had all won once; Haruhi won twice), Tamaki had finally revived and declared that they should take advantage of this beautiful (read: freezing) weather to play commoner games outside.

Taking turns, they had finished a large can of coffee (straws were used for the prevention of indirect kisses, much to the disappointment of some) and played "Kick the Can," tag, and other childish games. Unfortunately, the brief sugar high that came from the caffeine wore off soon, leaving them in the sorry state they were in now.

"Tohru-kun, it's almost time for lunch," whined Shigure pathetically, standing on the porch.

"Ah, yes! Please excuse me everybody," gasped Tohru, jumping up and running inside the house. Haruhi sighed, stood up, and brushed the grass stains off her pants, while remarking that she probably should go see if Tohru-chan needed help.

"Thank and praise Kami-sama, for today, we are able to taste heaven, crafted by two beautiful princesses in the bloom of their youth!" extolled Tamaki, bouncing excitedly around an exhausted Kyo.

"It's your fault anyway if she doesn't have enough food right now to feed all of us," commented Haruhi, oblivious to the dawning realization of three of the younger hosts. "She might need somebody to get more groceries. Seven unexpected guests dropping out of nowhere is really troublesome," she muttered bluntly, obviously speaking from personal experience.

"NOOOO! Daddy didn't realize, how could I have been so inconsiderate to my darling daughter's needs? Oh Haru—"

"Sempai? Could you let go of my leg?"

"Hey! If Tono wants to go visit a commoner's supermarket, I've got the shopping list right here," yelled Hikaru, waving a piece of paper while Kyoya, Kaoru, Mori and Hani were listening to Tohru's vague directions on how to reach the local stores.

"When did everybody…? Ah, never mind."

Kyo stood up, saying something about Tohru "being crap with directions" and he'll take them "if they wanted to go that badly."

"Girly boy over here can help with the cooking," scoffed Kyo, jabbing a thumb in Yuki's direction. "If he's being useless, just sma—OOF." That last part was the cat getting the wind knocked out of him by a flying rock conveniently aimed at his head. If Haru was here, he would definitely say, "Mystery…"

* * *

While Kyo and the male Hosts (minus Yuki, who had run to the secret base) visited the local supermarket, Haruhi persuaded Tohru to let her help with the cooking.

"For lunch, I was thinking we could let everybody make their own hand-rolled sushi," chirped Tohru, donning her trusty yellow apron. "Kyo-kun and the others went out to buy nori and other ingredients, so we could cook rice and maybe serve miso soup with it! Would that be okay with you?"

"That sounds great, Tohru-chan," remarked Haruhi, tying on the spare apron her new friend had loaned her.

"Wonderful! Then could you start on the eggs while I make the soup? Yuki-kun should be back with the vegetables soon."

"No problem…"

* * *

"Itadakimasu!" chorused eleven voices before they reached out for the bountiful feast the two girls had created. Kyo and company had managed to return relatively unharmed. Nobody mentioned how close the Sohmas were to being banned permanently after knocking down 3 displays of soup cans by runaway shopping carts.

Luckily, Kyoya's charm and influence saved the day— after 2 minutes with the shop manager, she was completely charmed.

_The Shadow King strikes again..._

* * *

"Tohru-kun, you might want to bring the laundry in—it smells like rain," remarked Shigure as he stuck his head through the kitchen door.

"Eh! Oh no," she gasped, dropping the sudsy plate she was washing in the sink.

Haruhi blinked at the mention of rain, wondering if there would be thunder involved. 2:47…it really was getting late. Her father would be wondering where she was. But the boys looked like they were having a lot of fun "spring cleaning," even though winter wouldn't end in another three months or so. Armed with dusters and rags, they scoured the house inside out, much to the immense pleasure of the owner. Of course, they had punched numerous holes in the fragile shoji doors and broke quite a few things running around the house, so maybe Shigure wasn't as pleased as he seemed…

* * *

The sun was starting to set and it looked like the rain had no intentions of letting up—if anything, it continued to get stronger, growing in intensity. Haruhi sighed mournfully. They really should have left sooner. If there would be thunder…

She shuddered and stopped thinking about it.

"You are worried."

Whipping her head around, she smiled slightly at Mori, who had a dusty bandana covering his dark hair.

"A little bit, perhaps."

"Should I tell Tamaki to call the driver?"

Relieved, she grinned at her "savior" and nodded awkwardly. "It would be bad if we stayed too long, ne?"

As he turned to leave her by the window, she called out, "Thank you, Mori-sempai."

He nodded briefly, then left.

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO RECEPTION?" shrieked Haruhi in a very un-Haruhi-like manner.

Kaoru shrugged. "It means we can't call Tamaki's driver…"

"…and Shigure-san's home phone isn't working either," finished Hikaru easily, twirling his state-of-the-art, completely useless cell phone by its leather strap.

All was quiet for a moment until Hani came to a grand realization.

"Ne, Takashi, does this mean…"

Haruhi's eyes widened as she caught his drift. _No…_

The twins also understood what their upperclassman was saying judging by the feline grins that curled their lips.

"…that this is a…"

_Don't say it, Hani-sempai!_

Kyo paled, Yuki froze, and Shigure snickered.

_Please Mother in Heaven, stop this boy from saying—!_

"…SLEEPOVER?"

_Dear Kami-sama, he said it._

* * *

"89 percent of commoners usually watch movies during sleepovers, right?" babbled Tamaki as he snuggled under the kotatsu, dream-violet eyes shining at the prospect of experiencing a real live commoners' sleepover.

_And 74 percent of people make up statistics on the spot, right sempai? _

"Since the television isn't working right now, we could watch a DVD instead," offered Yuki, browsing through their meager DVD supply. "Mogeta: The Last Crusade? How did this get here?"

"Ah! Kisa-chan left it here last time," explained Tohru, glimpsing the anime cover. "If you want to watch it, I'll make tea."

"Yes please," chorused the twins, thirsty after their dinner of western hamburger made from scratch.

"Please wait a moment then!"

Unbeknownst to them, their desire for tea at that moment would create a catastrophic, cataclysmic outcome for all involved. And it was (indirectly) caused by Ayame, who would probably be delighted at the attention he'll receive soon.

* * *

"Oh, Aya! You always think of me," giggled Shigure fondly. His darling cousin had traveled to the Akita Prefecture, famous for its traditional sake industry, and sent him all sorts of delightful sake-related items, such as a sake set with beautiful, ocean-blue porcelain cups and a bottle of "the finest alcohol Akita has to offer;" however, the best thing Ayame had sent was a can of tea leaves which had been marinated in sake before they dried, giving the drinker the exotic experience of getting drunk on tea!

Setting the can down, Shigure hummed happily as he searched for his favorite green cup.

_Where could it be…ah! I must have brought it into my study this morning…_

Turning to leave, he accidently bumped into a soft, curvy, _girlish_ form.

_Please let it be Yuki, please let it be Yuki…_

**Poof.**

…_Darn it._

"E-eh? Shigure-san! Sorry!"

Shigure, in dog form, twitched as he saw Tohru's distressed expression. Opening his mouth—ah, muzzle to reassure her, he paused as Yuki's friends appeared, looking curious to what that sound was.

"Uwaa~ it's a puppy!" squealed Hani, running over to hug the large black canine, hopping lightly over the author's discarded kimono, which Kyo quickly swept away.

"How cute," murmured Haruhi as she bent down to pat his furry head. Shigure barked happily as the somewhat loose shirt she was wearing gave him quite an excellent view, then yelped as a certain rat grinded his tail into the floor.

"E-everybody, this is…Spot a-and he's a completely normal dog so…pleasedon'tlookathimlikethat!" babbled Tohru nervously.

The three Sohmas sweatdropped as the same thought ran through their minds: _She's TERRIBLE at keeping secrets…_

"Tamaki, don't you think we should let Tohru-kun brew her tea in peace?" suggested Kyoya, already shooing the twins out.

"Roger that, Okaasan! Let's go, my beloved daughter!"

Once everybody left, Tohru breathed a sigh of relief and noticed the can of tea leaves for the first time.

"Eh? When did I take that out? Oh well! Got to hurry with the tea-brewing…"

* * *

The movie, Kyoya decided, was pretty absurd. There was the lolishota boy with the ridiculously long, exotic name, Aritamis Donpanina Taios, who everybody called Ari; Mogeta, a cute, catlike doll mascot who was his servant/plaything; the stereotypically beautiful, effeminate princess who acted like a typical damsel in distress; and an evil emperor who constantly targets the princess' country with absurd minions.

How childlike, concluded Kyoya. If he was the emperor, he could think of 37 different ways on the spot to shut the country down without having to rely on a mutant gecko and "the forces of evil." Target the economy first, follow up with some biological warfare, add two—better make it three—strategic bombings, and voila! Repeat as necessary.

However, everybody else seemed to be enjoying it. Tamaki would even occasionally shout out words of encouragement to the anime characters, as if they would break the fourth wall to acknowledge him.

"Tea is served," called Tohru, entering the living room with a teapot and ten teacups.

"We really should have waited for you, Tohru-chan," said Haruhi apologetically.

"It's really no problem at all," exclaimed the Sohmas' resident flower, carefully pouring the hot liquid into porcelain cups and passing them around.

"Stop working so hard and just sit down and watch already," grumbled Kyo, moving over to create space for her.

Smiling gently as she handed Mori a cup, she said, "Okay…thank you, Kyo-kun."

Taking the proffered cup, Mori sniffed the warm aroma delicately, then frowned when he couldn't recognize the scent. There was something awfully familiar about it though...

Nobody else seemed to give their tea a second thought— even Kyoya didn't look worried as he took a long sip of the fragrant beverage.

Shrugging, Mori drank it, pleasantly surprised at the unexpected warmth blossoming in his stomach…

* * *

"Fouuuund it~" sang Shigure as he spotted the cup that he had been searching for. It had taken awhile, with the waiting for the transformation to wear off and all. Highly anticipating his new treat, he meandered past the living room where Yuki and company were watching an anime— then froze as his sensitive nose was assaulted by the distinct aroma of sake.

Filled with a sense of dread only his clueless cousins could make him experience, he nudged open the shoji door…

…only to be greeted with a chaotic, drunken hell.

Kyo was curled up like a cat, flushed and mumbling in his alcohol-induced sleep. Kaoru, who was usually more reserved, was uncharacteristically talkative and hyper, arguing loudly with an extremely hyped-up Tamaki, who was moving in a jerky, uncoordinated fashion, most unlike his usual self.

Hikaru, on the other hand, was doing less talking, more touching. And who was that pinned to the floor? Shigure stifled a snigger as he witnessed the obviously drunk Hitachiin keeping a weakened Kyoya underneath him, encouraged by his dazed demeanor. _A defenseless Kyoya…now that has to be the oxymoron of the year…_

While Hikaru indulged in his frisky side, Hani had become quite emotional as he shakily poured himself and a grinning Mori another cup of tea. "Why doshm't aaaanybawdy undershtand hao dif—hic!—cult it ish these days to look ash cooyut as meeee?" he slurred as fat tears rolled down his cherubic cheeks.

Mori laid a large hand on his cousin's blonde head. "The best things in life come who those who wait," he intoned before breaking out into a miniature giggle fit.

"Ne, Takashi, you know I'm a—hic!—dorable, aren't I?" the senior smiled as large pink flowers danced around his head. Shigure sweatdropped as he realized this Hani had serious moodswings.

His questioning gaze swept across the hectic room—ah, Hikaru-kun really did leave Kyoya alone— as he searched for the three people he was most anticipating to see intoxicated. _There they are!_

His darling Tohru-kun was chatting quite animatedly to a drunk Haruhi as Yuki laid stretched out on the tatami mats, blinking occasionally at the ceiling.

"But sometimes I can't help myself, you know, Haruhi-chan! They're all so beautiful! You know what it's like, right Haruhi-chan?"

"…Eh?" slurred Haruhi, who had been staring into space.

"I really can't help myself, sometimes I just see on accident, just a teeny, tinsy bit," –here, she held apart her fingers to indicate how little that was— "but I always see _something_ and then it's burned into my memory FOREVER."

"Forever is a really, really long time," offered Haruhi, pleased to have formed a coherent thought to add to the conversation.

"Exactly! I knew Haruhi-chan would understand— we're both surrounded by bishies!"

"Yuki-kun is the bishie type," added Haruhi. "Because he's andy…ando…" She frowned in a very displeased manner. The word was right on the tip of her dry, swollen tongue.

At this point, Shigure had slunk to the phone and dialed Hatori in a panic. _Please let the phone lines be working, please let it get through to Hari…_

The gods must have been feeling benevolent that day, for miraculously, his call got through the raging storm.

"…Hello?"

"Hari! Save me!"

"What did you do now, Shigure?"

"I didn't do it on purpose, I swear! Naïve Tohru-kun must have not noticed that it was Aya's tea and I couldn't do anything because I SHRUNK and pretty high schools girls are welcome to wear baggy shirts around me, but Yuki stomped on my tail and then—"

"Shigure…" There was a steely undertone to Hatori's voice, as if promising to bring much pain to the dog if he didn't tell him what was going on. NOW.

"I got ten underaged, high school students rip-roaring drunk."

Silence.

"They're all acting OOC—that's Out Of Character, since Hari doesn't know author-speak—who knew they were such lightweights? Did you know Tohru-kun isn't as innocent as we thought, and that lolishota has serious moodswings, and…and HIKARU-KUN IS STRIPPING HIS SEMPAI! That sounds really kinky, but they're both guuuuys! Well, if Kyoya-kun tried hard enough, he could probably be a babe, but he's not and I know he's not!"

More of that dreaded silence.

"This is really bad, right?"

Dark waves of malice and unspoken sarcasm seemed to be rolling from the silent phone Shigure was now holding away from his head.

"Hariiii! Say something before Hikaru-kun the Frisky Stripping Monster moves onto Yuki next!"

At this remark, Hatori snapped awake from his daydream of slowly torturing that dumb dog and started sprouting off doctorly advice.

"Throw out their tea right now and lock up the tea leaves Ayame sent you. Make them drink plenty of water before they go to bed—that'll lessen the effects of the hangover. And Shigure, I do hope you have enough common sense in that head of yours to separate the girls from the boys when they go to sleep."

"But they haven't bathed yet!"

"It's dangerous showering while intoxicated. They could drown themselves."

"Thank you Hari-sensei! You really saved me this time…"

Unfortunately, the allotted amount of benevolence towards Shigure from the heavens seemingly ran out, and the line went dead.

Placing the phone back in its cradle, Shigure hurried back towards the living room, wondering where his camera was.

This was probably the best blackmail material he was ever going to get against these teens. Anybody who thought Shigure was going to pass up this golden opportunity obviously didn't know him very well…

* * *

**A/N: wooooot! After 3 months of labor, this 5830 word chapter is DONE~ **

**fanfiction really is a labor of love... -__-**

**hello everybody! It's been a while, right? ehehe...sorry. well, HAPPY 2009, happy b-day to me (my birthday was last week), Happy Presidents' Day, and all that jazz.  
**

**the drunk scene...i actually had the idea of alcoholic tea leaves a while ago, but i never got around to using it...and i haven't updated in a while, so i was like, "What could I do to make my darling readers/potential reviewers (hinthint) not be mad at me?"**

**The answer: FANSERVICE~ :D**

**please drop a review on your way out or else I'll unlease Hikaru-kun the Frisky Stripping Monster on you! **

**-hoard of screaming fangirls appears-**

**maybe that wasn't the best threat ever...**

**review and the Host Club will take up Ritsu's hot springs offer!**

**-hoard of screaming fangirls run to computers-  
**

**muahaha...  
**

**ja ne!**

**mimi-chan**


	13. The Angels

**Chapter 13: The Angels**

_It tastes crunchy, kind of like hay,_ mused Haruhi, giving whatever was occupying her mouth another thoughtful nibble. _Smells like strawberries though. Have they invented strawberry-flavored hay already? _

After a few more minutes pondering, her unusually sluggish brain concluded that it would be smarter to open her eyes to find out.

When Haruhi Fujioka cracked her eyelids open, her addled mind registered three facts:

FACT ONE: The crunchy hay-like substance? It was Tohru's hair.

FACT TWO: There was a miniscule amount of sunlight filtering through the partially-drawn curtains.

FACT THREE: And it burned her poor eyes. Really bad.

She hissed in pain as she curled up in a ball, cradling her buzzing forehead in her hands. How had this happened? The last thing she remembered was watching this childish anime and the next thing she knew, she was lying on a pink bed (which she concluded it to be Tohru's) next to said girl, currently unconscious.

Crawling over her friend's prone body, Haruhi staggered downstairs, passing Yuki and Kyo's rooms, which were also dead quiet.

Wandering to the kitchen in search of water, she passed a snickering Shigure, huddled next to the television.

"Shigure-san," she called, watching as he jumped and fearfully glanced over his shoulder before relaxing at the sight of her untidy appearance.

_How suspicious._

"Haruhi-kun! Ohayo," he grinned, boyishly handsome face crinkling up into a genuine grin. "You must be tired, with what happened last night."

"What happened last night?"

"Ara? You don't remember?" Upon seeing her shake her head, he motioned her over to the television, scotching over to make room for her. She noticed that he hadn't been watching a program; rather, he had plugged in a small silver camcorder to the screen.

"Watch this." Then he pressed play.

All the jumbled memories came flooding back to her astonished brain as she watched the chaotic scene unfold on the bright screen (which also really burned her eyes). There she was, acting like a bubbleheaded ditz, "conversing" with a hyperactive Tohru…and there was a jittery Tamaki, seniors acting uncharacteristically, and…was that Hikaru and Kyoya?

"Oh Kami-sama," she gasped. _Oh Mother in Heaven…I am speechless._

The footage also showed the aftermath: Shigure confiscating their tea (while Hani bemoaned his loss bitterly), forcing them to drink plenty of water (why is Kaoru splashing his twin?), and then sending them off to bed (while a slightly more sober Kyoya insisted that he was not going within thirty feet of that "indecent moron," Hikaru).

"I also got some pictures too," sang Shigure, waiving a pink digital camera around. "Aya would love some, and maybe Hatori—he could use them as a visual aide when teaching kids the dangers of underaged drinking—and I could sell the rest off the internet! Maybe we should title them as 'Bishies Gone Wild: Drunk Edition!' What do you think?"

During his idiotic babble, she had apparently regained the ability to speak. "What do I think? What do I _think_? I think that if you ever release this, you should be prepared to leave Japan." An image of a smiling Kyoya saying, "You can run…" flitted across her mind and she shuddered briefly.

"How serious. Don't you know the meaning of a joke?" pouted Shigure, nudging her playfully with his shoulder.

Breathing a sigh of relief, she held out a hand for the tape, but was unpleasantly surprised when he refused, saying something about "keeping these for my own amusement."

Before Haruhi protested, Tohru stumbled downstairs, hair disheveled and clothes wrinkled. At this point, Shigure discreetly snuck all incriminating evidence into his voluminous sleeves. "Good morning," she yawned, rubbing her eyes sleepily before realizing something that made her eyes widen in shock. "Ah…morning?! Breakfast!"

As she scrambled— more like staggered— to the kitchen, Haruhi stopped her and said there really wasn't any need. "We should leave now…Shigure-san, where are the others?"

"Hani-kun and Mori-kun slept in my study last night, the twins slept in Kyo's room, and Tamaki-kun and Kyoya-kun roomed with Yuki."

_Well, at least he had enough sense not to dump all seven of them in a room and lock the door…_

Thus, followed an invasion of sorts: Shigure went to wake up the seniors while Haruhi and Tohru went upstairs.

"I'll wake up the twins while you get Tamaki-sempai and Kyoya-sempai, okay?" asked Haruhi, slipping into Kyo's room.

"Ah, wait!" cried poor Tohru. But alas, the door had already swung shut and Haruhi was no longer with her. "Shouldn't we go…together?"

Left alone, facing Yuki's familiar wooden door, she trembled inwardly, but steeled her courage and snuck inside.

Yuki was dozing peacefully on his own bed while Tamaki was sprawled across a futon on the ground. Poor Kyoya was, once again, pinned under somebody.

"Ano, Tamaki-kun, Kyoya-kun," she began awkwardly, kneeling near the pile of tangled limbs and rumpled quilts. "Please wake up. Tamaki-kun? You need to call your driver…"

The rest of her sentence stuttered off as Tamaki's dream-violet eyes opened slowly, then widened when he registered Kyoya squished underneath him. "Ah, mon ami! Ohayo," he greeted his disgruntled friend in a mixture of French and Japanese. "And here is the fair princess, come to awaken the slumbering prince. Now isn't this a juxtapose?" he breathed, reaching up towards the curtain of brown hair and twirling a strand absentmindedly.

Predictably, Tohru squeaked, fell backwards, and almost crushed a surprised Haruhi, who had two hung-over twins hanging over her and whining about how sick they felt. After a few sharp words, the almighty Haruhi managed to get her sempais up and securing a ride home. Tohru just watched in awe at Haruhi's incredible power.

Pretty soon, the limo driver pulled up to Shigure's home, watching in barely concealed amusement as the young masters, all in various stages of a hangover, crawled blearily into the vehicle.

"Ja ne," called Hani, who seemed to be the least affected. "Tell Yu-chan we'll see him on Monday!" At the mention of the M-word, a collective groan emitted from the blissfully dark interior. Shigure and Tohru sweatdropped, but continued waving goodbye amiably.

* * *

"Hello, little lambs!" bellowed Ayame, sweeping into the Third Music Room with a dramatic burst of sweeping robes and flamboyant colors. Trailing behind him, in a no less dramatic ensemble, was a petite brunette, wearing a ballerina-esque creation.

"Good afternoon, Ayame-san," smiled Kyoya, a little bit more wanly than usual. Even Demon Lords could be defeated by a killer hangover.

"This is Mine-san, my lovely assistant," he said, twirling the bespectacled woman around. "And she will be helping everybody transform into Everyday Angels!"

"Hello, everybody! I look forward to working…" her voice trailed off as she spied Haruhi.

_"Is it just me, or did her eyes just shine with an unholy light? _wondered Haruhi as Mine-san kept staring at her.

"You are adorable!" squealed the little assistant, pouncing on her with the ferocity of Renge lunging at a limited edition of LaLa Magazine. "I'm so glad Taishou designed such a cute dress for you!" With that ominous comment, Haruhi was dragged off before she could even protest.

"Well, we should all follow Haruhi-kun's example and get changed!" said Ayame cheerfully, passing out wrapped packages to everybody. Yuki felt a kind of instinctual dread when his smiling brother handed his clothes to him. Before he could trust his gut feeling and run, he was already shepherded into a dressing room. Shrugging, Yuki stripped down to his underwear before opening the bag and pulling out a—

No.

No way.

No _freaking _way.

Angrily shoving _it _out of sight, he reached for his pants, only to discover they were gone. So were his shirt, blazer, and tie. Even his black leather shoes had been stolen while he was distracted.

He paled. What would be worse? Going out in his underwear or _it_?

After a moment of serious deliberation, Yuki created a third option: neither. He was going to sit here until Ayame returned his uniform.

And that's what he did.

* * *

"And this is how you attach the wings," Ayame announced, using Hikaru as a demonstration. All of the male hosts had already changed into their respective costumes. Haruhi had taken a little longer because of her outfit, an elegant, airy shift dress with tiny rows of pearls decorating the hems. Although it was easy to put on, it had taken a little convincing for her to also add the wig and makeup. Being the practical girl she was, she had worried that her femininity would be too obvious, but Aya had just chuckled about some "secret weapon" and pushed her towards Mine and her Makeup Box of Doom.

"It should be time for the unveiling of my secret weapon now," Ayame grinned gleefully, skipping to the only dressing room that was still occupied. "Yuki, are you ready?"

"I'm never coming out."

"B-but!"

"_Never_."

"But Yuuuuki, you are the ultimate secret weapon! A dummy competitor! The most glamorously wrapped present under the proverbial Christmas tree!"

Ayame paused, as if to give his younger brother a chance to ask, "Why, my dearest, most brilliant niisan, whatever do you mean?" But, as we all know, that will never happen in a million years, so Aya just plowed ahead, pretending that Yuki was asking that in his heart and just too timid to say it out loud.

"You are like the most beautifully wrapped gift, swathed in festive holiday paper and silk bows imported from China, while Haruhi-kun here is the modest little unassuming present wrapped with the comics page from the Sunday newspaper (which is all very well, since they are a joy to read), with nary a ribbon in sight!"

Here, there was a major facefault for all listening.

"But! Inside, you are just a five-dollar gift card for the local bookstore, only enough to buy three bookmarks and a tabloid— only a male in this crowd of testosterone (Or as much testosterone as a group of bishies can produce)! On the other hand, Haruhi-kun is five swaths of qiviut, one of the softest kinds of wool in the world, a pair of golden knitting needles, and a medal from the emperor all in one— a delicate flower maiden, living in this den of males! Do you understand, my dearest Yuki?"

Hani, as Cupid, was wearing a variation of the traditional sailor fuku with a small bow and arrows and lopsided halo of pearls resting on his downy blonde hair. At this point, his eyes brightened with understanding at Ayame's long-winded speech. "So Yuki is helping a damsel in distress?"

"Exactly! A dummy competitor! With his exceptionally effeminate features, shared with yours truly, he shall distract from the real flower of the place, our secret girl, Haruhi-kun. And _I_, I have created a masterpiece that will help him do it!"

"I wanna see," Tamaki yelped excitedly, dancing around in his own costume, a partially unbuttoned white dress shirt, studded belt, and a thick silver ring on his middle finger.

"A quick glance would certainly be helpful," added Kyoya, whose own crisp dress shirt was also slightly open, with an undone gray tie slung casually around his neck.

Mori nodded, his warm white hoodie pulled halfway down to reveal the gray t-shirt with the intricate stitching.

There was a brief moment of silence before a resigned "Fine" was heard. After a few minutes, the dressing room curtain slid open, and the change was almost as dramatic as seeing Haruhi in the girls' uniform for the first time.

The twins, who were the first to finally picked their jaws up from the floor, exclaimed the first thing they could think of: "Are you absolutely sure you're not a girl?"

A sweet, misleading smile crept over their classmate's face as a bright vein throbbed angrily. "100 percent positive."

As Kaoru and Hikaru cowered in their poofy pirate shirts, Yuki turned to Ayame, a dark glint in his eyes. "Isn't the theme 'Everyday Angels,' nii-san?" Upon seeing his starry-eyed brother nod, Yuki continued, "Then please explain, nii-san, why I'm the only one whose outfit does not look like something worn every day."

"He does have a point," Haruhi muttered while Mine applied blush to her cheeks. Suddenly, her simple sheath dress looked positively heavenly compared to the layers of frills and tulle her friend was shoved in.

"But this _is _something worn every day, my deluded little brother! On the trendiest streets of Japan, this is LOLITA FASHION! Note the tight bodice! The pearl trimmings! The flouncy skirt! The lace gloves! The frilly—"

"We noticed," Yuki forced out through gritted teeth.

"Then you know it's all done to protect Haruhi's identity."

_Well, when he puts it that way…_

Yuki sighed before relenting. While he was being dragged off to the makeup chair by the enthusiastic twins, Aya pulled out a…was that a gray wig?

Oh, Kami-sama.

* * *

_**A/N: Well, the results from the long-forgotten poll from chapter 10 are in! EVERYDAY ANGELS scraped by with the victory!**_

_**Their costumes were inspired by the amazing Arehandora on DeviantArt with this piece, which is currently my desktop background:**_

_**http:// .com /art/ Ouran-Koukou-Host-Club-54259903 [remove spaces] so pretty~ :3**_

_**anyways, this chapter could have been up months ago-- I just needed to write the last few sentences. So sorry for the wait, everybody! (is there anybody still reading this? *cricketcricket* ...anybody? ;_;)**_

_**hope everybody had a merry christmas! now let's all go into 2010 with our manga-loving hands in the air!**_

**_mimi-chan_  
**


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